Man Almost Fainted Watching News Report About Coronavirus Vaccine Rollout

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 2 January 2021

image for Man Almost Fainted Watching News Report About Coronavirus Vaccine Rollout
This won't hurt ... much

A news report regarding the delays in the COVID-19 vaccination program in the US, was almost too much for one viewer, who, unable to endure the sight of so many needles being thrust into bare human flesh, very nearly passed out.

When vaccinations were given the green light in the US, it was claimed 20 million people would receive the vaccine before the end of the year; in the event, only 3 million people have received a shot.

TV viewer, Moys Kenwood, was watching DW News whilst having his tea, and listened with interest, but when the report showed footage of medical staff actually giving the injections, the Englishman started to feel a bit warm, and a bit dizzy.

More and more patients were shown receiving the lifesaving vaccine from medical staff, who jabbed the long-needled syringes into upper arms from all angles, and with varying degrees of force.

Kenwood's head was spinning, his body wincing, his armpits sweating.

The report showed an old woman being vaccinated by a nurse from hell who virtually launched a syringe into the patient's skinny arm as one would launch a javelin at the track. The woman's face contorted in horror, and Kenwood reached for the remote.

He'd had enough, took a gulp of water, and got on with his tea in silence.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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