CA Gov Urges Residents to Panic Buy and Hoard
April 1, 2020 (Sacramento, CA). California Governor Newsom has urged all CA residents to storm their local grocery and hardware stores to boost the economy and show support for local businesses. He dismissed critics' concerns about violating soci...
Read full storyTrump Ousts Navy Sec., Names Fired Captain as Replacement
The White House. Exclusive to The Spoof. President Donald Trump publicly removed Thomas Modly as acting secretary of the navy following Modly's insulting remarks to the crew of the carrier Theodore Roosevelt about their former captain, Brett Crozier,...
Read full storyMan watching repeats of the Night Garden
Social isolation does strange things to people, as the life choice of John Heckingthwaite from Mithering on the Trent has proven. The 24-year-old, known around the small town as a bit of a ladies man, has been watching the travails of the Ninky No...
Read full storyWill Trump Appoint Jared Captain Of The USS Theodore Roosevelt, And Did Trump Drop The Ball On Coronavirus?
Answer to the first question: Why not? Answer to the second question: Yes! About the Aircraft Carrier USS Theodore Rosevelt. Jared Kushner is perhaps the most unqualified person to command the aircraft carrier Theodore Roosevelt, or a destroyer...
Read full storySocial Distancing? Hey, No Problem For We Misanthropes!
Stay six feet away? I do that anyway! Stay home and don't have guests? Ditto! Don't touch anyone? Bingo! Avoid people? You got it! I got this whole quarantine thing down, and I don't even have to change any of my habits! They are already...
Read full storyMan Positive He Knows Which Wanker Gave Him Virus
Office worker Myke Kenwood told reporters, Tuesday, that he knows exactly which wanker gave him the coronavirus. Suffering from a cough, fever and a severe sore throat, Kenwood said: "That wanker, Tatty Mullett; it's his fault. Twat. I remember hi...
Read full storyChina asks if some of its population can stand in Europe to comply with social distancing rules
The Beijing government has politely requested EU leaders if some of its population can stand in Europe to obey social distancing rules. Social distancing rules require people to keep a distance of at least 2 metres away from one another, to avoid the...
Read full storyLow-Self-Esteem Suspect Has Trouble Believing He Truly Warrants Arrest
“It was just hard for me to believe I truly deserved it," said 19-year-old alleged armed robber Darien Keller of Nashville, Tennessee, after a high-speed police chase involving over 20 vehicles and an additional dozen officers on foot finally led to...
Read full storyMelania Trump Says She Thinks Her Pet Parrot May Have C-19
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The first lady reportedly told her pedicurist, Mr. Mimosa, that she is afraid that the White House parrot, Crackers, may have the C-19 flu virus. Mrs. Trump informed her personal secret service agent Max Goobitosi that, when she...
Read full storyRudy Giuliani is Missing
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump has been informed that his lawyer Rudy Giuliani appears to be MIA. Trump’s favorite attorney was reportedly last seen at a Coney Island hot dog stand purchasing six hot dogs to go. The hot dog vendor said that...
Read full storyThe Kardashians Are Moving To Switzerland To Get Away From The C-19
HOLLYWOOD – The matriarch of the Kardashian family has just informed Left Coast Mirror Magazine that the Kardashian brood is moving to Switzerland. Kris Kardashian-Jenner spoke with Tequila Tallyho of LCMM, and said that it has just become too str...
Read full storySexy Women Say That Their Sugar Daddies Are Dumping Them Like Hot Potatoes
LAS VEGAS – The Las Vegas Daily Light is reporting that the C-19 is even starting to affect the “Sugar Daddy” business. An independent survey was taken in the state of Nevada, which is known as “The Sugar Daddy Capital of The World”. The result...
Read full storyWillie Nelson Puts His Denver Marijuana Shop on the Market
DENVER – Popular country music icon Willie Nelson, who is 86 years old, told The Denver Claimer-Clarion that he is putting his Colorado marijuana shop up for sale. The Texas troubadour said that, at his age, it is just too much trouble to have to...
Read full storyMan's Glasses Are Now Being Held Together By A Rubber Band
A man whose glasses have broken, but who is unable to leave his home because he is observing the current 'lockdown rules' imposed by the government, has told how he has, 'in the short term', temporarily resolved the problem by using a rubber band to...
Read full storyMan Had Beef, Peppers And Onions With Rice For His Tea
A man whose wife may not be the best cook in the world, but who puts her heart and soul into it all the same, has revealed how he was served up an appetizing meal yesterday evening, consisting of beef, peppers and onions, with a sideplate of boiled r...
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