Bill Belichick Leaving Patriots To Join Green Leaf Cannabis, Ltd.
BILLINGSGATE POST: Bill Belichick, head coach for the New England Patriots, announced today that he is leaving the Patriots, effective immediately, to join Green Leaf Cannabis, Ltd. Belichick, whose resume includes six Super Bowl victories with t...
Read full storyHarry Maguire Says England Are Going To Kick The Shit Out Of Kosovo
Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England central defender, says that England will make 'short shrift' of their opponents, Kosovo, tonight in the Euro 2020 match, and will, as likely as not, kick the shit out of them. Maguire, 26, was being...
Read full storyUnited States to Annex State of Anxiety
Not to be deterred by his failed bid to purchase Greenland, United States President, Donald Trump, recently announced that the nation will be annexing the 51st state - specifically, the state of Anxiety. "Rich in natural resources like indigenous...
Read full storyToothless Yak Gums Food For Edentulous Granny
BILLINGSGATE POST: Praise the Lord! It’s rare that such a heartwarming story surfaces in a world bereft of humanity. This was a match made in heaven. Granny Lizzie Kocolochek, who lived a life of quiet desperation, lost all of her teeth by the...
Read full storyMarouane Fellaini sues Axel Witsel for copying afro haircut
Yesterday, former Manchester United player Marouane Fellaini successfully sued Dortmund midfielder Axel Witsel for copying his renowned Afro haircut. When interviewed, Fellaini said, "I feel that Axel's haircut has personally attacked me. To me,...
Read full storyFrog Squashed After Shoe Came Down Heavily On It
A man who was walking along without a care in the world, minding his own business, has revealed how he caused the death of a frog by standing on it. The man, who wishes to remain anonymous because of his fear of reprisals from Animal Rights enthus...
Read full story'Fake' Ashes to be replayed
Just a year after the ball-tampering scandal in South Africa which rocked Australian cricket, the villain and cheat of that game, Steve Smith, has now been caught trying to dupe all and sundry in the Ashes series in England. His magnificent innings w...
Read full storySis-Boom-Bah: What Does A Sheep Sound Like When It Explodes?
BILLINGSGATE POST: It’s noteworthy that Dr. Billingsgate is deviating from his successful Harry Maguire formula that has brought him fame and fortune. However, exploding sheep may have a greater cult following in England than the overpaid Manchester...
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