Trump's Sponges "Made in China"
Tallahassee, Florida. A new scandal has rocked the Trump Administration as the Federal Emergency Management Agency [FEMA] begins the clean-up operation following Hurricane Dorian's movement toward states farther up the East Coast. The sponges that...
Read full storyGreenPeace decries Barnacling Support
Greenpeace officials are mourning the loss of several ardent but exhausted environmentalists today, whose efforts to protect a ship at sea engaged in protective manoeuvres met with tragedy, after pirates boarded them. "We think they were....scrape…
Read full storyCanadian "CanaHand" Provokes Parliamentary Funding Furore
Things are calmer in the Canadian parliament today, after fisticuffs erupted between the Conservative hopeful, Andrew Scheerer, and former Governor General Adrian Clarkson, who strode into the Cabinet in full martial arts gear, accompanied by Marge D...
Read full storyMan Went Round To Friend's House, Only To Be Told He Didn't Live There
A man who decided to pay an impromptu visit to a work friend he hadn't seen for years, was disappointed to be told that the 'friend' didn't live there, according to the bloke that did. After doing the rounds of charity shops in the East Yorkshire...
Read full storyLobster Tales
I A little background is required before I embark on my first lobster tale. I came from a middle-class family and my paternal grandparents were at the upper limit of the socioeconomic boundary, but as immigrants, lived quite modestly. My grandmother...
Read full storyScientists detect massive energy readings from the Bermuda Triangle --- Investigation shows evidence of Cthulu
This is Reporter 87, reporting from Florida Yesterday, on the 3rd of September, scientists from the University of Florida were 'shocked' upon detecting massive amounts of energy readings from the seabed of the Bermuda Triangle. When interviewe...
Read full storyMick's Swiss Miss
Charisma dynamo and Republic of Ireland manager, Mick McCarthy, has admitted that this weeks Switzerland game is “the biggest” since his return to international management. Giving the interview from inside the white paint section of his local BnQ...
Read full storyIntrovert Debates Getting Hit by Bus to Avoid Convo with Coworker
Angela Bishop, an introvert living in Nashville, Tennessee, was disconcerted to realize that she'd exited her work building at noon right behind her coworker Matt Moffat, and, unless she darted across the street just ahead of the city bus now bearing...
Read full storyBoris Johnson Meets Barbara Windsor About Dementia, But There Is Confusion Over Which Of The Two Has Been More Severely Affected
Prime Minister, Boris Johnson took time off from driving the country nearer to destruction this afternoon, when he met with former EastEnders actress, Barbara Windsor, for a discussion on dementia. Introductions went well, but, during the meeting,...
Read full storyHarry Maguire England Captain For Bulgaria Game
Harry Maguire has been named as England captain for the European Championship qualifier against Bulgaria at Wembley on Saturday (17:00 BST). Maguire, 26, will lead the national team out for the first time, as they bid to continue their great start...
Read full story