Introvert Debates Getting Hit by Bus to Avoid Convo with Coworker

Written by Chrissy Benson

Wednesday, 4 September 2019

image for Introvert Debates Getting Hit by Bus to Avoid Convo with Coworker
In the interest of self-care, Angela Davis opted to risk an awkward convo with a coworker - possibly saving her own life.

Angela Bishop, an introvert living in Nashville, Tennessee, was disconcerted to realize that she'd exited her work building at noon right behind her coworker Matt Moffat, and, unless she darted across the street just ahead of the city bus now bearing down upon them both, she was in grave danger of feeling pressured to make small talk while waiting with Matt on the corner for the traffic light to change.

"Initially I was going to go for it," said Angela. "To the point where I had one foot off the curb and was poised to sprint across the road."

In the next instant, however, Angela felt a strong wind on her face, caused by the momentum of the large vehicle, and she realized that the bus was moving even faster than she'd thought.

"It was an awful moment," she said. "I knew there was no way I was going to make it, and it also hit me that it was lunchtime, and what if Matt asked me where I was going to eat, or even wanted to go somewhere together. But there was absolutely no way out."

Fortunately, as it happened, none of her fears materialized. Preoccupied with his cell phone, Matt didn't even register that Angela was standing next to him for a full three minutes on the street corner while they waited for the walk sign to appear. And, by strolling a little more slowly than usual, Angela was able to avoid Matt's subsequently noticing her walking beside him on the sidewalk.

"It's encouraging to see that these things have a way of working themselves out," said Angela. "I'm glad I did what I did. I'd make the same choice again."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more