GreenPeace decries Barnacling Support

Written by Madame George

Wednesday, 4 September 2019

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Greenpeace officials are mourning the loss of several ardent but exhausted environmentalists today, whose efforts to protect a ship at sea engaged in protective manoeuvres met with tragedy, after pirates boarded them.

"We think they were....scraped off.", said the official sadly. "We've warned them about too much meditation giving one a false sense of "self as steel", but we were unsuccessful in preventing the hull tragedy. We have apprehended the pirates, who, it turns out, mistook them for barnacles. We do not advocate barnacle assistance, nor mind-melding, nor do we recommend it, in terms of any human/ship grafting support of environmental causes at sea."

The pirates were arrested by Fijian coast guard officials, who took their pulses and wrapped their heads in cool cloths, before leading them away. The culprits must do seven years in medical school before obligatory service in several refugee camps, worldwide. Several vowed to specialize in burn treatment, in defiance, and shouted out "Vive L'Ozonol", before being led away.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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