Canadian "CanaHand" Provokes Parliamentary Funding Furore

Written by Madame George

Wednesday, 4 September 2019

image for Canadian "CanaHand" Provokes Parliamentary Funding Furore

Things are calmer in the Canadian parliament today, after fisticuffs erupted between the Conservative hopeful, Andrew Scheerer, and former Governor General Adrian Clarkson, who strode into the Cabinet in full martial arts gear, accompanied by Marge Delahuntey, Warrior Princess. Things only returned to calm after Jagmeet Singh, leader of the NDP, and Prime Minister Justin Trudeau waded into the fray with a deaf interpreter, and the Prime Minister ordered earpieces be attached to an interpretive neuralink - and everyone in the cabinet - in order to restore calm.

NASA and Canadian Space Agency officials later clarified that the scuffle began after a funding debate for the new "CanaHand" - a project previously abandoned by the new Scottish parliament as too costly, during a time of restraint - although it was difficult to tell exactly when the shouting had begun, as an asteroid had smashed into the main satellite link during their efforts to beam in calming music to the group.

"These things happen", said Prime Minister Trudeau, calmly. "We have clarified that the trouble began only with a misunderstanding of intentions. Several officials misinterpreted "Mars colonization" to read "Martial Colonoscopy", which is when the trouble began. Canada has restored peace and order. We are not known for Planetary enema exploration, and do not intend to pursue this agenda."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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