New transcript of Trump call to Ukraine found in White House trash basket
Breaking: Insider info indicates the Democrats are excited about impeachment due to a new, emerging, piece of evidence. That is, the supposed “transcript” Mr. Trump released today, of his telephone call with newly elected Zelensky in Ukraine last...
Read full storyHarry Maguire Announces Wedding Plans
There's love, romance, matrimony and feverish expectancy in the air throughout the South Yorkshire region tonight, as the Manchester United and England £80million central defender, Harry Maguire, took some time out from football to announce the weddi...
Read full storyWasted Days And Wasted Nights: Ode To Monkey Woods
BILLINGSGATE POST: This song by Freddy Fender best expresses my feelings toward Monkey Woods: “Wasted Days And Wasted Nights.” Wasted days and wasted nights, I have left for you behind For you don't belong to me, Your heart belongs to someone...
Read full storyParents Hurt that Teenage Daughter Thinks They Haven't Done a Good Job of Caring for the Planet
Lance and Linda Gibson of St. Louis, Missouri, were hurt when their 14-year-old daughter, Carly, told them that she didn't think they or their generation had done a very good job of caring for the planet. "Look, we're no fans of global warming, ei...
Read full storyFDA shakes heads after latest alleged vaccine complication
The FDA is shaking their heads after the latest alleged side-effect of vaccines. Jennifer Mowery claims that her daughter, Jessica, grew a second head after the latest round of vaccines. To further complicate matters, Jessica may be required by la...
Read full storyFootball Running Back Alleges He Had His Balls Fondled During Sexual Assault
A football running back has made a serious claim that his testicles were interfered with by one player in a game last weekend, and that a second player attempted to give him a blow job. Hank Stonker, running back for the San Bernardino Shitehawks,...
Read full storyDictators Around the World React to Trump's Impeachment
President Maduro of Venezuela expressed his disappointment in the announcement that impeachment proceedings would begin in the House of Representatives for Donald Trump. "If he can get impeached, what's going to happen to the rest of us tin shop d...
Read full storyDonald Trump And Boris Johnson Are Going To Write Letters To Each Other From Prison
The leaders of the two most civilized and progressive nations in the world, US President Donald Trump and his UK counterpart, Prime Minister Boris Johnson, have indicated that they will remain lifelong friends through thick and thin, and have vowed t...
Read full storyPresident Trump Sings Softly, Tenderly To Vladimir Putin - "He's my widdow Wushian Pootie Poo! Yes he is! Yes he iiiiiiiiiiis!"
Washington DC - President Trump sang It's A Small World After All while rocking a sleeping Vladimir Putin in his lap, a practice that his staff says has become too frequent and too troubling. "My staff, and even America, will never understand," sa...
Read full storyTrump Suspends the Laws of Science
Mar-A-Lago, FL Declaring martial law on scientists, President Donald Trump suspended all the rules of Science and forbade anyone to use or follow them until the ban is lifted. Trump would only say that it was a matter of national security. "It se...
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