FDA shakes heads after latest alleged vaccine complication

Written by Purple Girl

Wednesday, 25 September 2019

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The FDA is shaking their heads after the latest alleged side-effect of vaccines. Jennifer Mowery claims that her daughter, Jessica, grew a second head after the latest round of vaccines.

To further complicate matters, Jessica may be required by law to take all of her vaccines again since the health department has no record that her new conjoined sister, Julie, has ever taken any vaccines.

A frustrated Mowery complains, "It is bad enough that Jessica grew a second head as a result of the vaccines, but the state wants her to take a second round of vaccines because there is no record of Julie having any. How many heads will my daughters have to grow before the government takes action?"

The FDA has little to say other than that they will investigate this matter, and that vaccines are generally recognized as safe. Dr. Steven Brockmann says, "We know that vaccines are safe since that is what the studies from 1979 indicate. Surely there is another cause for the alleged medical anomaly."

According to a Reddit user with the screen name of Vax4Life, "I don't care how many heads that Jessica grows, that's no excuse to not vaccinate all of your kids."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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