Trump Will Let Evangelicals Take Over the Education Department
Mar-A-Lago, FL In a move that surprised no one, President Donald Trump has decided to go for the evangelical vote in a big way, by allowing evangelicals to decide what the school curriculums will include, and what schools will be allowed to teach acr...
Read full storyWinner of this year's Apprentice will become the next Prime Minister, says Queen
Queen Elizabeth II is so sick of Brexit, that she has decided to leave the whole mess to the next winner of The Apprentice. 'The vainglorious nincompoops that will make this country completely miserable for the next three months need a proper prize...
Read full storyDarth Vader's Explosive Tell-All Book "Force of Habit" Confesses Addiction To Force - "But Nobody Forced Me To Do It," He Says
We met up with "force-free" Vader at a cantina on Tatooine, where he works as a waiter and lounge singer. He was willing to tell us about his upcoming book, Force of Habit - Behind the Breathey-Scary Mask Thingy, which chronicles his early years as a...
Read full storyThomas Cook Slogan Enjoys Amazing Resurgence
Thomas Cook, the British travel agent that celebrated its 154th year in business this year, won't be celebrating its 155th, after it went tits-up yesterday. The company's advertising slogan, however, Don't just book it - Thomas Cook it! has...
Read full storyQueen Demands The Head Of Boris Johnson
There was controversy-upon-controversy in Westminster this morning, when, after the UK Supreme Court ruled that Prime Minister Boris Johnson had acted unlawfully when he asked Her Majesty the Queen, on August 28, to suspend Parliament, the Queen, Her...
Read full storyTrump Apologizes for Never Dressing in Blackface
"What can I say? We all make mistakes," said United States President Donald Trump, apologizing to neoconservative supporters for the fact that, unlike many prominent politicians, he never dressed in racist blackface in his teens, college years, or be...
Read full storyConfirmed: Trump and Biden stormed Ukraine with violence and kicking over trash cans
Punxsutawney Phil has come forward in September this year to say: “Winter is coming on now—not just six more weeks from February 2!” New scandal is breaking onto Washington. Have current and previous Washington Oval Office residents been illeg...
Read full storyHarry Maguire A Marked Man
Manchester United and England central defender, Harry Maguire, has revealed the pressure he is under to perform at the highest level, and that petty jealousies - particularly about his salary - have aroused anger in other players, and made him a mark...
Read full storyPresident Trump Will Be Taking the Month of October Off
Mar-A-Lago, FL Just as the news cycle was booming on President Trump's phone calls threatening the president of the Ukraine, and trying to get dirt on Democratic front-runner VP Joe Biden, Trump announced he would be taking the month of October off.
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