Mar-A-Lago, FL In a move that surprised no one, President Donald Trump has decided to go for the evangelical vote in a big way, by allowing evangelicals to decide what the school curriculums will include, and what schools will be allowed to teach across the nation.
"The first big change is that all the history books that describe anything happening on Earth before 5,000 years ago, the date of the first people Adam and Eve and the Garden of Eden, will be thrown out," said a spokesperson.
"This also goes for Geology classes that try to teach that there was anything before 5,000 years ago. And that goes double for trying to say dinosaurs were here before then!" continued the spokesperson.
"One other minor change is that Education Secretary Betsy DeVos' family company, Scamway, will be allowed to sell products to students and teachers in-between classes."