Confirmed: Trump and Biden stormed Ukraine with violence and kicking over trash cans

Written by joseph k winter

Tuesday, 24 September 2019

image for Confirmed: Trump and Biden stormed Ukraine with violence and kicking over trash cans
Possible: Trump and Biden may combine expertise in new movie studio: Forked Tongue Productions

Punxsutawney Phil has come forward in September this year to say: “Winter is coming on now—not just six more weeks from February 2!”

New scandal is breaking onto Washington.

Have current and previous Washington Oval Office residents been illegally messing with foreign governments?

Whistleblower 1 fingered Mr. Trump as badgering the Ukraine president in July to open up a new investigation of Biden & Son.

Mr. Trump was on the phone to President Zelensky, and no less than eight times informed him he should open up a new investigation of Biden.

Did he also threaten to withhold funds, favors, goodwill?

But Mr. Trump was not on the phone. He was in Zelensky’s office leaning into his face and shaking his finger.

He was taking hold of Mr. Zelensky’s elbow and twisting it slowly.

He was stomping on Mr. Zelensky’s toe.

Next, Whistleblower 2 turned to Mr. Biden.

Biden & Son arrived in the Ukraine in 2014, with Mr. Biden threatening to withhold a billion dollars in funds, unless a particular prosecutor was fired.

This particular prosecutor was moving a little too near to American interests in the Ukraine.

Further (a “further” the size of a Mayflower Moving Van) Mr. Biden used his influence to get his son an executive position with a gas company at $50,000 a month.

Month is spelled m-o-n-t-h.

Mr. Trump:

“I did nothing wrong. It was just talk, and that talk was recorded, folks, so do you think I’d be doing something stupid at that time?”

Punxsutawney Phil: “No comment.”

Phil also: “Is all this a mirror-image problem? Are they both dirty?”

The question currently consumes Media and Mr. Nadler.

Miss Pelosi: "Sheeit."

Just in case there is trouble here, the Bidens have already purchased a big shining truck with revolving belly and a lot of volume.

Specialties: septic services, vaccuuming, & sprucing-up political fortunes.

The back of this truck reads: “Come to us for experience!”

As soon as the summer of 2020, Biden & Son could be wearing ceremonial white caps on their virgin run into Washington, D.C. in this big vehicle with its revolving belly.

Meanwhile, Mr. Trump is thinking about a return to Globular Real Estate and Art Of The Deal Academies.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more