Queen Elizabeth II is so sick of Brexit, that she has decided to leave the whole mess to the next winner of The Apprentice.
'The vainglorious nincompoops that will make this country completely miserable for the next three months need a proper prize for winning the Apprentice, so I thought I would hand over the running of the country to them for a while.'
Boris Johnson is still in New York, but is expected to return to the news, and will rush release his Autobiography so it is in the shops before Christmas.
Donald Trump said 'Boris is, and will always be, my special little soldier.'
