
Tea Leaves Spoilt Man's Bedtime Cuppa
A drink before bedtime is often just the thing to help us settle down for a good night's sleep, but one man was left ruing his decision to have a cup of tea last night, when he nearly choked on a throatful of tea leaves that had escaped their tea bag...
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Trump Will Personally Aid Hurricane Victims
Camp David, Maryland. President Donald Trump met today with officials from the Federal Emergency Management Agency [FEMA] and governors of several states in the path of Hurricane Dorian. Trump promised that FEMA has the resources necessary to cope wi...
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Nine-Year-Old Graduates From Harvard: Burns Out Too Early
BILLINGSGATE POST: Like his Ma and Pa, Little Willie Everdingle had no teeth when he was born. Although neither had graduated from high-school after undergoing government mandated lobotomies that were commonplace at that time in their home state o...
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Jurgen Klopp Set For Liverpool Exit?
Liverpool manager, Jurgen Klopp, has aroused speculation amongst fans that he harbours a secret desire to become a ventriloquist, and has had a mouthful of new teeth fitted to help him to achieve his goal. Klopp was being interviewed by the BBC's...
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Trump Ex-Wife Reveals All His Secrets--Including His Biggest Hero!
New York, NY In an exclusive interview (which cost this publication a pretty penny), Marla Maples, ex-wife of President Trump, revealed many unrevealed tidbits about Trump. It is thought that Ms. Maples is revealing all this in retaliation for Trump...
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U.S. Border Policy Rebranded as Trumpcare
Not to be outdone by former president Barack Obama's signature healthcare plan commonly known as Obamacare, United States president Donald Trump has rebranded his self-initiated border policy of imposing criminal penalties for unauthorized border cro...
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Disturbed Calculus Professor Looking Forward To The Mental Pain, Agony, And Weeping That Will Occur Next December
Minneapolis, Minnesota. Angry, volatile, emotionally explosive, and basically upset with life in general, Calculus Professor, Hugh Lane, 57, confessed, Thursday, that he can't wait to unleash hideous and unholy amounts of torture and punishment on s...
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Comic Book Characters Too Macho for Disney
If, like me, you grew up in the 1960s or 1970s, you will be familiar with comics. Lying on your tummy and reading about superheroes was a weekly event. Sadly hollywood is going woke and ruining even American favourites. Here's a few of my heroes who...
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