Trump Will Personally Aid Hurricane Victims

Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Sunday, 1 September 2019

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Trump's brain earlier

Camp David, Maryland. President Donald Trump met today with officials from the Federal Emergency Management Agency [FEMA] and governors of several states in the path of Hurricane Dorian. Trump promised that FEMA has the resources necessary to cope with Dorian, even if it comes ashore rated as a 5, the most violent storm yet experienced.

Several of the governors were concerned that the $150 million that Trump took from FEMA's relief funds to build his border wall might impact the federal response. Trump responded that FEMA had already stockpiled sufficient resources to cope with any crisis. He then promised that he, personally, would be in the hurricane zone as it hit, and that he would be tossing out FEMA sponges to help beleaguered householders mop up the mess.

"I should have realized that those paper towels I tossed out in Puerto Rico weren't going to help much. But these are super sponges."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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