U.S. Border Policy Rebranded as Trumpcare

Written by Chrissy Benson

Sunday, 1 September 2019

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Donald Trump claims that Trumpcare will fix the holes in our ailing border system.

Not to be outdone by former president Barack Obama's signature healthcare plan commonly known as Obamacare, United States president Donald Trump has rebranded his self-initiated border policy of imposing criminal penalties for unauthorized border crossings and separating children from their "criminal" parents as Trumpcare.

"Don't let the name confuse you," said Trump. "It's the polar opposite of socialized medicine."

Trumpcare is a form of healthcare, however, the president hastened to emphasize - healthcare for our ailing borders.

"Not to mention for those poor children," said Trump. "Getting them away from the criminal element that their madres and padres have exposed them to, and around law enforcement officers who can serve as positive adult role models is the first step in giving these kids a shot at a real future. And it's nice for them to be around other young people, in a setting where they can make lots of new amigos."

The president noted that, just like with Obamacare, the constitutionality of Trumpcare is being debated in the courts, but Trump is confident that most judges truly care, as he does, about our nation's borders, and will uphold the new immigration laws.

And if, for some reason, they do not, Trump made it clear that he will not hesitate to take appropriate executive action.

"I'll issue a constitutional amendment if it comes to that," said Trump. "Whatever it takes to protect this country."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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