Trump Ex-Wife Reveals All His Secrets--Including His Biggest Hero!

Written by Al N.

Sunday, 1 September 2019

image for Trump Ex-Wife Reveals All His Secrets--Including His Biggest Hero!
3 out of 5 people will Google "L. Ron Hubbard" to see who the hell he was.The other 2/5 will Google Roy Cohn.

New York, NY In an exclusive interview (which cost this publication a pretty penny), Marla Maples, ex-wife of President Trump, revealed many unrevealed tidbits about Trump. It is thought that Ms. Maples is revealing all this in retaliation for Trump not giving daughter Tiffany any government positions.

"Everyone thinks Donald's biggest hero was Roy Cohn, attorney for Joseph McCarthy, engineer of the Red Scares of the 1950s. But actually, his biggest hero was L. Ron Hubbard, the creator of Scamatology," spoke Ms. Maples. "Donald saw through all that cult stuff and admired how Hubbard was able to con so many people, and scam them out of so much money. If you think about it, there are lots of things they have in common, all things Donald got from Hubbard:

1. Making up ridiculous things and getting people to believe them
2. Both made up fanciful accounts of their past and their "accomplishments"
3. Both had a sense of entitlement that came from nowhere

And, of course, they both ended up with the same results-people maniacally following them because they believed their bullshit, and just generally fucking up everything they touch," said Ms. Maples.

Don't miss the rest of this astounding interview in our next issue - if there is one!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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