Tea Leaves Spoilt Man's Bedtime Cuppa

Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 1 September 2019

image for Tea Leaves Spoilt Man's Bedtime Cuppa
Tea - to be drunk, not eaten

A drink before bedtime is often just the thing to help us settle down for a good night's sleep, but one man was left ruing his decision to have a cup of tea last night, when he nearly choked on a throatful of tea leaves that had escaped their tea bag.

Moys Kenwood, 56, had made a brew using a Tetley's tea bag, and given it a right good poke with a spoon during the 'mashing' process, in order to extract every last vestige of the flavour of the tea contained therein.

This, however, had consequences.

Sipping the drink whilst completing a Sudoku puzzle from the Sunday newspaper, Kenwood failed to notice several 'rogue' tea leaves swilling around in the last mouthful of tea in the cup - a sure sign that the security of the tea bag had been compromised. As he swigged back the entire contents, he experienced a tickly feeling on his tongue and at the top of his larynx.

Already too late, the tea and leaves cascaded down his throat.

As he realized the gravity of the situation, he convulsed his upper body towards the kitchen sink, and was able to cough up most of what had been going down, although some of this ended up on the worktop and the floor.

After his 82-year-old mam had mopped the mess up, she said:

"You're supposed to drink it, not eat it!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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