Plutonium sandwich did for Yasser Arafat
Geneva - A post-exhumation probe of the ex-PLO leader's remains has found he ate a toxic Plutonium sandwich from the same dodgy snack bar that saw off MI6/KGB double agent Alexander Litvinenko. Tests for the radioactive substance proved positive d...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Will Be Arrested If He Ever Returns To Brazil
RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil - The Canadian tough guy wannabe, Justin Bieber is at it once again. While visiting Brazil to perform some concerts he got carried away and tagged the walls of the hotel where he was staying as well as the wall of his expens...
Read full storyNews From Michelle Obama Not Very Encouraging!
The First Lady, who usually speaks out as she pleases, left a group of reporters scratching their heads after a short informal chat outside the White House at about noon today, EST. Michelle Obama clearly let the cat out of the bag when she stated...
Read full storyU.S. Facing New Mutated Chicken Flu As Over 100 NY-California Cases Already!
The good old Department of Health, Education and Welfare has been delaying news we could have used earlier but, as always, they "didn't want to start a panic". Well, better a panic than catching a mutating flu that fights off antibiotics. Although...
Read full storyNorth Carolina Fart Farms declared, "No fly zone" by major airlines.
North Carolina fart fams received both ridicule and criticism when first announced by its founder Reverend T. J. McCorkle of Louisburg, NC. Now, three major airlines have declared the air space around the facility a "no fly zone." Louisburg is in pa...
Read full storyBrand Enlightens Paxman to Blatant Obvious
After his interview with comedian Russell Brand, heavyweight BBC political presenter Jeremey Paxman has undergone a startling transformation in the past week. In the Newsnight interview between the two Russell fireBrand called for revolution and a...
Read full storyKoch Brothers to Buy Out the 2016 Election
Charles and David Koch, the two fossil fuel industrialists who created the Tea Party to scare the shit out of mainstream Republicans, announced today that they are buying out the 2016 election. The two brothers, who spent millions of dollars in 20...
Read full storyIRS Rules Out Misspeaking on Tax Returns
In the wake of the recent NY Times editorial and a host of government officials insisting that the President "misspoke" on twenty nine separate occasions when he said, "If you like your health plan you can keep it, period, no matter what, end of sent...
Read full storyAnother Mayor "Crackin" Up
TORONTO, ON - The mayor of Toronto, ON has admitted recently to smoking crack, but is refusing to resign his position. "How can I afford to give this job up? Do you realize how expensive a CRACK habit is?" states the mayor. Locals are working...
Read full storyPyschics Say Soothsaying Laws Don't Say What they Should Say
In light of recent fraud cases revolving around fortune-telling laws in New York and Florida, psychics are speaking out. The legal system is going after people that seemingly take advantage of vulnerable victims. "Oh," states psychic Yuri Sukka,...
Read full storyAmerica's Top Drug Dog Retires
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Sergeant Fido, who is considered to be the very best drug-sniffing dog in the history of the U.S. Customs K-9 Corps has just retired after spending 10 years in El Paso, Texas. Fido, was given a lavish retirement party by his han...
Read full storyKristen Stewart's Smirk Has Suddenly Turned Into A Smile
VENICE BEACH, California - Close friends of Kristen Stewart are overjoyed to say that the Twilight Saga actress has done a complete about face mood wise. Kristen and former boyfriend Rob Pattinson were recenlty spotted at the world famous La Brea...
Read full storyParis Hilton Says She Is Looking For An R-Rated Movie To Star In
BEVERLY HILLS - The Hair Stylist To The Stars, FuFi Fondue, has just revealed that Paris Hilton is desperate to get back into the limelight. The flamboyant hair stylist said that Paris was in his salon a few days ago and (Paris) cannot believe the...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Piñatas Are The Biggest Selling Piñatas In The Entire United States
CHICAGO - The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency has just revealed who the most hated person in America is. And for the third straight month the individual that Americans hate the most is North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. The ADGA reported that t...
Read full storySnooki Is Considering Filing A Lawsuit Against Dancing With The Star's Head Judge Len Goodman
NEW YORK CITY - Snooki Polizzi is reportedly still upset at having been eliminated from Dancing With The Stars. The 4-foot-7-inch reality show celebrity says that she places the blame entirely on the old British fogey judge Len Goodman. Snooki...
Read full storyShia LeBeouf Makes Cameo in 'Black Friday IV' Trailer
Shia LeBeouf plays a sexy, sharpshooting stranger in the new live-action trailer for "Black Friday IV," due out Nov. 7 for playstations and xboxes. The minute-long trailer, set in the post-Thanksgiving Day ruins of a large retail outlet, features...
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