Written by b kenneth mcgee

Wednesday, 6 November 2013

North Carolina fart fams received both ridicule and criticism when first announced by its founder Reverend T. J. McCorkle of Louisburg, NC. Now, three major airlines have declared the air space around the facility a "no fly zone." Louisburg is in part of the traffic pattern of the Raleigh/Durham Airport and the airlines announced this morning that it is no longer safe to have their equipment fly over this area.

A spokesman for American Airlines issued a statement which reads in part, "These occurrences' have happened too many times to ignore. The reports from our crew members and passengers indicate that when flying over this area of North Carolina they have flown through a brown haze that has caused the instruments on the aircraft to totally mal-function, the crew members have become disoriented and passengers have engaged in aberrant behavior. We find it eerily familiar to reports of those that have flown through the supposed Bermuda Triangle. We will no longer put our crew members, our passengers or our equipment at risk!"

Reporter: "Sir, can you give us some details of what you are calling occurrences?"

Spokesman: "Certainly. A passenger on a Southwest Airlines flight reported that a sixty year old stewardess came down the aisle with a beverage cart shortly after take-off from RDU and flying over Louisburg. She was naked from the waist up and yelling, "Coffee, tea, or a fat lip!" In another instance and under the same circumstances a crew member on a Delta flight report seeing a priest performing the rite of exorcism over his box lunch. On a United flight a small child slapped an elderly man for making too much noise. NO, these are not normal and each one has occurred after flying over this area."

The Reverend T. J. McCorkle, the founder of Fart Farms, Inc. was asked by the local Franklin Times if the bad publicity would harm the annual whistling contest held each year in Louisburg. The event is recognized nationally and draws whistlers from around the world. Reverend McCorkle is also on the governing board of the contest. McCorkle looked startled by the question and replied, "Ain't no reason it should affect the contest. It jes only proves, one more time, folks here in rural North Carolina," he paused and grinned mischievously, "really give a toot!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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