Lindsay Lohan marries mail order bride

Written by Evil

Monday, 25 November 2013


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Lindsay Lohan marries mail order bride
A picture of Jennifer Lawrence while on vacation in D.C.

Lindsay Lohan marries long time girlfriend Jennifer Lawrence of Jamaica in a picture-perfect wedding that took place in Hawaii on the magical Isle of Maui. The couple met on an online marriage agency.

Shortly before the wedding, Lohan stepped out of a black limousine in a flamboyant, white, bridal dress designed by Jean Paul Gaultier. Lawrence appeared at the wedding in a tuxedo accompanied by her Jamaican father Dean Roy Lawrence.

Sixteen states and the District of Columbia allow same-sex marriage. Fortunately, for Lohan Hawaii is one of the sixteen states.

Like most celebrity weddings, it turned out to be quite the star-studded affair with rumored guests Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, and Billy Crystal, among others.

The night of their wedding they consummated their marriage at the Fairmont Kea Lani hotel in Maui. Guest reported hearing screams and crying coming from their hotel room.

Prior to the blessed event, Lawrence told the MauiTime Weekly she was "so excited and so thrilled" for the big day. Lawrence is a bartender at a Jamaican bar called "The Black Pearl."

So how did the happy couple hit it off during their first date? According to paper the Hollywood veteran met Lawrence in person at "The Black Pearl." After Lohan passed out on booze, Lawrence took care of her while she was bedridden at a hotel room. I guess every cloud really does have a silver lining.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more