Barking Barking man's bite worse than his bark

Funny story: Barking Barking man's bite worse than his bark

A Barking man is in court for killing and eating pet dogs in his neighbourhood. Paddy Green Chum, 46, from Korea, moved into the area a few weeks ago and was believed to be working as a dog walker. His home-made advertisements for dog-walking can be...

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God apologizes for massive loss of life

In an emotional interview, God, the Supreme Ruler of the universe, has tearfully apologized for the massive loss of life that occurred on his watch during the last ten years. Earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes and terrorist attacks have claimed hun...

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"I was molested by a robot nun"

Funny story: "I was molested by a robot nun"

A priest has come forward to talk about his recent sexual abuse at the "inhuman" hands of the Catholic Church. The Church has been trying to modernise itself to get away from its medieval practices and poor reputation. To do this, it recently ordered a million robot nuns to help out at churches throughout the world. The priest agreed to talk to me on the grounds that he remain anonymous. His na...

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Lord Lucan signs for Man City

Funny story: Lord Lucan signs for Man City

Lord Lucan, the peer wanted for questioning over the death of his childminder and missing since 1974, has been announced as the replacement for Manchester City forward Carlos Tevez by coach Roberto Mancini. It is thought Lucan was approached by a...

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Rush Limbaugh not ready to admit President was good for his portfolio

Washington--Rush Limbaugh is not ready to admit that the man he has mocked since November 4, 2008 has actually made him a lot richer. A fact that has caused Rush to go back on the pills. "I categorically deny that Obama helped make me richer than...

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Michael Barrymore first cyborg comedian?

Funny story: Michael Barrymore first cyborg comedian?

Comic and television personality Michael Barrymore is attempting to revive his career with the help of cutting edge technology. Using all of his remaining fortune, Barrymore, whose career waned after a police investigation in 2001, has begun work...

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Body of Rasputin discovered

Funny story: Body of Rasputin discovered

The body of the infamous monk, preacher, Bay City Roller and adviser to the royalty of Imperial Russia, has been found by archaeologists, it was announced today. The remains of the so-called "Mad Monk", famed for his role as counsel to the Tsarin...

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Adel Taarabt reveals truth behind bus strop drama

Adel Taarabt has revealed exactly what happened to him when substituted at half time in QPR's 6-0 trouncing at Fulham. "I said to the gaffer at half-time the system wasn't working. Let's go 4-4-2 - I said I'd gladly make way for Tommy Smith. So he...

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Yankees/Tigers playoff games will be played in the 'rain'

Funny story: Yankees/Tigers playoff games will be played in the 'rain'

Detroit, Michigan - The forecast for Detroit is partly cloudy, but the remaining games of the American League Division Series between the New York Yankees and Detroit Tigers will be played in an off and on downpour. The wet weather guarantee is be...

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Jessica Simpson Texted Tony Romo: "Hey Fella, Remember When You Dumped Me The Day Before My Birthday!"

Funny story: Jessica Simpson Texted Tony Romo: "Hey Fella, Remember When You Dumped Me The Day Before My Birthday!"

HOLLYWOOD - Jessica Simpson proved the old adage that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Simpson has still not forgotten when her then boyfriend Dallas Quarterback Tony "Oops" Romo broke up with her the day before her 29th birthday back on J...

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Kim Kardashian Finally Reveals The Real Reason She Did Not Invite Her Friend Paris Hilton To Her Wedding

Funny story: Kim Kardashian Finally Reveals The Real Reason She Did Not Invite Her Friend Paris Hilton To Her Wedding

LOS ANGELES - The entertainment media has issued dozens of reasons as to why they all feel that Paris Hilton was snubbed by her good friend Kim Kardashian who did not invite her to her wedding to Kris Humphries. Kim recently sat down with Taffeta...

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Atkinson "sincerely" apologizes to Everton's Rodwell after red card rescinded

Referee Martin Atkinson has issued a "sincere" apology to Everton midfielder Jack Rodwell after he controversially sent the 20-year-old off during Saturday's Merseyside Derby. The England under-21 international was shown a straight red card for...

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Gigantic shark sanctuary has opened it's gates for extreme surfers!

Funny story: Gigantic shark sanctuary has opened it's gates for extreme surfers!

The Marshall Islands has declared an area in the Pacific Ocean as the hugest shark sanctuary on the planet. Hunting shark fins for aphrodisiac purposes is forbidden so the Chinese will have to stick with viagra. After declaring the region a shark...

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Some Brand New State License Plate Slogans For 2012

Funny story: Some Brand New State License Plate Slogans For 2012

The United States Commission on State License Plate Slogan Approval has just released a list of ten states who have been granted permission to use brand new vehicle license plate slogans for 2012. A spokesperson for the commission noted that several state slogans were rejected including Nevada's - Bring Us Your Money Folks - We'll Hold It For Ya and Montana's - Okay So No One Knows Where We Are...

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SuBo denies resemblence to the Titanic

Funny story: SuBo denies resemblence to the Titanic

Singer Susan Boyle has denied reports in today's Star that she was once mistaken for the wreck of the Titanic, stolen from the North Atlantic by scrap dealers last week then damaged in an episode of BBC's Top Gear. The Star claims Ms Boyle, who w...

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School leaving age should be as low as average pupil can count, says former inspector

The school leaving age should be cut to being as low as the average pupil in England and Wales can count, a former chief inspector of schools has said. Sir Chris Woodhead told the Times that allowing pupils to leave school at the age of 14 rather...

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Amanda Knox says she is innocent

Funny story: Amanda Knox says she is innocent

Defence attourneys for the convicted killer Amanda Knox were today left mystified by her latest assurances of her innocence. The courtroom in Perugia was packed this morning to hear Ms Knox assure jurors that she and her partner were innocent of...

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Shaun's derriere not up for probing

QPR's Shaun Derry has revealed he was subjected to verbal abuse over his sexuality whilst out shopping last week. The midfielder was purchasing some Yakult probiotic bifidobacterium yoghurt drinks in his local Budgens, when he was approached by a...

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Boy Swears Off Video Games for Good

Funny story: Boy Swears Off Video Games for Good

Twelve year old Jacob Yates swore off video games for good yesterday morning in his Orange County, CA home. "I'm done," he said. "It's impossible. I've been up since 6AM going over and over this one part, and I just can't figure it out." Yates said that if game developers cannot learn to fix glitches before they publish their games, then they will have one less customer to worry about.

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SuBo: The Rod Stewart Covers

Funny story: SuBo: The Rod Stewart Covers

Simon Cowell has today announced details of the forthcoming album by singer Susan Boyle, winner of last year's "Britain's Got Talent... honest". Boyle, 50, from West Lothian, fresh from her marathon tour of the US and being tipped for Broadway su...

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Steve McClaren quits Forest even though it's been his most successful managerial stint

Funny story: Steve McClaren quits Forest even though it's been his most successful managerial stint

Steve McClaren has left Nottingham Forest even though the four months spent in charge of the club were his most successful to date. McClaren guided his side to no less than eight points in their opening ten matches of the season, averaging just under...

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Survival of the Fattest - Fitness Experts Mysterious Premature Deaths

Funny story: Survival of the Fattest - Fitness Experts Mysterious Premature Deaths

A group of scientists working in the Bovril group at the University of Oxford have unearthed evidence that Darwin's mantle of "survival of the fittest" no longer holds as true in today's society. Following a survey of over 3,000 fitness experts, p...

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Cabbages the source of Foot and Mouth

Funny story: Cabbages the source of Foot and Mouth

Many years after the Foot and Mouth epidemic that saw thousands of cows on barbecues the length and breadth of Britain, scientists have finally isolated the source of the outbreak. "There had been many theories as to the source," said Simon Simple...

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Intruder's Wind Of Changing Times!

Funny story: Intruder's Wind Of Changing Times!

Scientists from the International Bureau of Weights and Measures based near Paris, say it is time for the world to axe the Greenwich Mean Time system of measuring the length of days. Instead they say we should use only the more modern atomic clock s...

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New Bluegrass Hit Inspired by Perry's Recent Troubles

You need two things to enjoy this -- knowledge of the "N****r Head" scandal affecting the Perry campaign, and the tune to "Rocky Top" by the Osborne Brothers. Wish that I was at old N****r Head Off in the West Texas hills
 Ain't no colored folks on N****r Head Ain't no telephone bills. Once I had a girl on N****r Head
 Half Black the other half Sp*c.
 Paw found out and smacked me on...

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Cryhan Air build the world's biggest plane

Funny story: Cryhan Air build the world's biggest plane

Cryhan Air, the budget airline based in Ireland, have commissioned the world's largest aircraft. "People thought that the 777 was the biggest plane around," said Ryan Chair, CEO of Cryhan Air. "No longer. We've commissioned the 881, which will be...

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Letter to the Editor

Dear Sir (but definitely not madam), I would like to complain in the strongest possible manner about nothing in particular or of any significance. As a middle aged man in the autumn of my life, I am utterly disgusted by most things; even the sight of Crocs makes me want to expunge a peasant's mortgage application. How can I, an outside minority representing the majority, endure any longer the...

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Writer's Block? There's an app for that

Funny story: Writer's Block? There's an app for that

One of the great reasons given for writers developing writers block is staring at a blank sheet of paper, or a blank document on the computer screen. There is now an applelet available for all such afflicted writers, be they journalists, novelists...

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WTF 'Some' IRA Killings Could Be Murder: McGuinness??

Funny story: WTF 'Some' IRA Killings Could Be Murder: McGuinness??

Belfast - Sinn Fein presidential wannabe Martin McGuinness is off his trolley worried voters said today as his knowledge of the criminal justice system hit the headlines. Speaking to UK broadsheet reporters the former IRA hitman said people were b...

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Britain Under Threat From Chairman Mao's Doomsday Weather Machine

Scientists working for the UN have unearthed a communist plot to plunge Britain into further economic and social upheaval: a Doomsday Weather Machine. Research has show that a snow-producing Doomsday Weather Machine, targeting Britain, is in its f...

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Sparks and Mensa produce sports stockings and suspenders

Funny story: Sparks and Mensa produce sports stockings and suspenders

The popular high street store for the intelligent and high IQ socialites has broadened its range of sporting goods by introducing sports suspenders. "We appreciate that playing sport in winter can be very hard on the skin," said Sparks and Mensa h...

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Buckingham Palace corpse lay unnoticed for three years

Funny story: Buckingham Palace corpse lay unnoticed for three years

London - "Maybe HM thought it was just some loyal oaf lying prostrate as a mark of obeisance," a Westminster Coroner's Court heard today during an inquest into a rotting corpse discovered 'just yards' from the Palace gates. Opening the inquest int...

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Compassionate Tories Etc

Funny story: Compassionate Tories Etc

I met David and George as they left Church, after worshipping at the altar of Tony Blair. They were filled with a new meaning to life: Compassionate Conservatism. 'We have met a true Saint today' remarked David as he wiped tears from his eyes 'we now know what we must do. Over to you George.' George Osborne took over from his leader: 'We urge everyone to have compassion for the Bankers and t...

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Derek Hough Says That His New Sexy Gal Pal Lauren Conrad Is Definitely A Collector's Item

Funny story: Derek Hough Says That His New Sexy Gal Pal Lauren Conrad Is Definitely A Collector's Item

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - One of the stars of Dancing With The Stars has certainly got some stars in his eyes as evidenced by the fact that the "Dancing Dude" is doing the quick step on Cloud 9 with his new girlfriend Lauren Conrad. Derek earlier this yea...

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Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones Convinces Brett Favre To Come Out Of Retirement And Join The Cowboys

Funny story: Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones Convinces Brett Favre To Come Out Of Retirement And Join The Cowboys

DALLAS - The Dallas Cowboys took a commanding 24 point lead (27-3) against the Detroit Lions into the third quarter but when the game ended the Cowboys found themselves on the losing end 34-30. Millions of Cowboys fans looked on in total disbelief...

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Taylor Swift and Zac Efron Laugh Off The Baby Rumors

Funny story: Taylor Swift and Zac Efron Laugh Off The Baby Rumors

MILWAUKEE - Taylor Swift performed before a sold-out crowd at The Beer Suds Stadium on the final show of her 2011 Taylor Swift's Land of The Free Refills Concert Tour. And sitting on the very front row in the center was none other than the guy of...

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Taronga Zoo Hires World Famous Arachnid Whisperer

Funny story: Taronga Zoo Hires World Famous Arachnid Whisperer

Sydney, Taronga Zoo - The famous Funnel Spider, the world's most poisonous spider, has been behaving so aggressively that two regular handlers have been bitten and evacuated to receive anti-venom treatment. Zoo officials have had to call in an outsid...

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Perry claims to have misread hunting camp name

Funny story: Perry claims to have misread hunting camp name

HARFOLD, Vt.--Texas Governor Rick Perry is again on the defensive, this time due to a revelation that he'd hunted at and brought guests to a hunting lodge that carried the name Niggerhead. "I thought it was Nigerhead, like the fish," said Perry sp...

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