Written by Big Stu

Monday, 3 October 2011

image for SuBo: The Rod Stewart Covers
Susan Boyle's new look has proved surprisingly popular in France

Simon Cowell has today announced details of the forthcoming album by singer Susan Boyle, winner of last year's "Britain's Got Talent... honest".

Boyle, 50, from West Lothian, fresh from her marathon tour of the US and being tipped for Broadway success in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, will be releasing an album of Rod Stewart covers. The hit single "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?", on a double A side with "Hot Legs", is tipped to be this year's Christmas number one.

The raunchy video for the songs, seen in pre-production stills leaked on the internet, appear to show Ms Boyle wearing fishnet stockings and a basque while gyrating on stage and smearing herself in Marmite for patrons in a sleazy nightclub. Some extras hired for the scene have complained of nausea, sweating and night terrors.

In related news, Tesco have announced that sales of fish paste have trebled as a result of the video, and Greenpeace expect the North Sea to be completely devoid of fish when the song goes on general release in November.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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