The Secret Behind Apple's Success

From saucy Biblical tales to companies who name their overpriced tat after them, apples are the world's number one berry. Globally we eat over 60 million tonnes of them every year, making them a much more popular foodstuff than rhubarb or turnips. So why are apples such a well-liked fruit? The secret lies with the Apple Regulation Society of Earth, founded hundreds of years ago as a secret soc...

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Muslim Woman Sues America - Expected To Receive Millions

Funny story: Muslim Woman Sues America - Expected To Receive Millions

A Muslim woman is suing the people of the United States of America after enduring three years of totally ridiculous stereotyping and constant allegations that she is a terrorist, the Washington Times reported early Thursday. Sarammu Alhibbi Assab...

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Conservative Party Conference Report

Funny story: Conservative Party Conference Report

Conservative Minister's idea to improve numeracy and literacy! Pupils who fail to get decent GCSEs in maths and English should keep studying for new subjects, ministers have announced this morning. The move follows complaints from the business...

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Convert the Euro into a Candy Bar, Says EU Debt Panel

Funny story: Convert the Euro into a Candy Bar, Says EU Debt Panel

Brussels - A committee of Europe's leading economists, bankers and nutritionists have developed a simple solution to end the European debt crisis. They propose converting the Euro from a currency into a candy bar. "Currently, we are printing euros...

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Obama places political opponents on CIA's kill or capture list

Last week was a historical moment for assassinations, as the US shot a missile at it's first US citizen, Omar al Awlaki. Jay Carney, the white house press secretary, claimed that this was the first of many actions that will make America more American...

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"Top Gear is not too expensive" says Hammond

Funny story: "Top Gear is not too expensive" says Hammond

Richard Hammond, former star of TV children's series Tales From the Riverbank and presenter of Top Gear and almost every television programme made since, has today hit back at critics who say that Top Gear is costing too much and needs to be more eco...

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Michele Bachmann: "Romney is Gay"

Funny story: Michele Bachmann: "Romney is Gay"

GOP Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann announced today that she has "indisputable proof" that co-candidate Mitch Romney is gay. "Just look at that hair," she said, "and those teeth. Nobody looks that good unless they're either a movie star o...

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Rooney Snr. nicked for bribing Scottish caber Tosser!

Funny story: Rooney Snr. nicked for bribing Scottish caber Tosser!

Wayne Rooney's dad has been nicked by the police for participating in bribing caber Tossers at the Highland Games in Scotland. They were all told to throw the toss. It sems that Rooney Snr. is pretty hard up and Wayne, his famous and very rich son...

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Street Racing Amish Men Jailed

Funny story: Street Racing Amish Men Jailed

Nine Amish men were ordered to jail for racing their horse-drawn buggies on a public highway an incident that had one responding police officer saying it was the worst drag racing event he had ever seen. The men, who cannot be named as I know no...

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Amanda Knox To Appear On The New TV Show "Pan-Am" Before It Flies Away To 'The Land of The Cancelled Shows'

Funny story: Amanda Knox To Appear On The New TV Show "Pan-Am" Before It Flies Away To 'The Land of The Cancelled Shows'

HOLLYWOOD - The Friendly Skies may not be as friendly to Pan-Am, one of the new television season's shows, as the producers were hoping. The ratings are not looking too good for the show set in the sky of the 1960s which centers around airplanes,...

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Palin Drops Campaign to Open Frozen Meat Franchise

Funny story: Palin Drops Campaign to Open Frozen Meat Franchise

Realizing the futility of her chances for the 2012 presidential election, Palin and a few select investors will open their first Alaskan Steaks franchise based in Ottumwa, Alaska. With a business plan that calls for direct competition with Omaha...

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Rooney Sr 'held in suspicious batting scam' - reports

Funny story: Rooney Sr 'held in suspicious batting scam' - reports

Liverpool - Investigators probing suspected cricket match fixing have arrested a number of people including someone with the same name as the famous Manchester United striker. Wayne Rooney Senior was described as 'seventh of nine' in the group hel...

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Two Faced Cat Finally Pays Price For His Treachery

Funny story: Two Faced Cat Finally Pays Price For His Treachery

Frank and Louie, the 12 year old Janus cat with two faces has finally been put to sleep. The cat, who literally did have two faces, was destroyed by a vet in Massachusetts after his Worcester owner tired of his back stabbing. The feline, who li...

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Isle of Wight News - Miss Isle of Wight crowned

Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Miss Isle of Wight crowned

After the controversy last year when Edith Millpond won Miss Isle of Wight despite being married and dead for three years, this year's competition went without a hitch. It could not have gone to a more deserving girl this time. Miss Isla White...

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Tiger Woods Pitches Rolex in Average-Guy Campaign

Funny story: Tiger Woods Pitches Rolex in Average-Guy Campaign

Inking his first endorsement deal since his wife's golf-club-upside-the-head incident two years ago, Tiger Woods will stump for Rolex Watches in a new advertising campaign targeted at working class men. The magazine ads already under production, W...

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Visiting Americans Devour French Towns Food Reserves

Funny story: Visiting Americans Devour French Towns Food Reserves

The French town of Antibes is recovering today after a bus load of visiting American tourists went on an eating binge during a visit to the Cote de Azur. The visitors, from Texas, arrived in the quaint fishing port town at about 7 in the morning,...

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"Sarah Palin would make ideal president", say Republicans

Funny story: "Sarah Palin would make ideal president", say Republicans

Congresswoman and Nobel prize winning particle physicist and quantum mechanic Sarah Palin was today given her warmest endorsement by the Republican party in the run-up to the 2012 election campaign. Republican senator George S.Cross of Texas said...

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Geneticist denies Britney claim

Funny story: Geneticist denies Britney claim

Leading geneticist Dr Hugo von Steinenfrank, of the Hermann Munster Institute of Bonn, has rejected claims made by two computer technicians who insist they invented Britney Spears and many other leading artists as part of a science experiment. Dr...

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More Tory Broken Promises

Funny story: More Tory Broken Promises

My wife responded to the offer from the Tories to stand beside David Cameron and smile at the camera for just £100. However she was swindled in another broken Tory promise when the Managers would only pay her £50, because she didn't laugh at Cameron'...

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James Dyson to take over Apple Corp

Funny story: James Dyson to take over Apple Corp

British Inventor James Dyson has been approached to take over Apple Corp following the tragic and untimely passing of the talismanic and charismatic Steve Jobs. "It's what Steve would have wanted," said Naomi Munny, head of marketing at the multin...

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'The Simpsons' to be produced in black and white, say Fox

US TV network Fox has said all future seasons of 'The Simpsons' will be produced in black and white after admitting it the current economic climate meant it could no longer afford to add colour to the long-running comedy. In a statement, it said a...

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Nottingham's Goose Fair Opens

Funny story: Nottingham's Goose Fair Opens

On Wednesday the weather was cool and windy, the rain threatening, as I walked down to have a look at the opening of the much longed for Nottingham Goose Fair. I arrived about 1710hrs. It was still light. As I entered from the Mansfield Road entra...

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The Real Reason Why Sarah Palin Decided Not To Run In 2012

Funny story: The Real Reason Why Sarah Palin Decided Not To Run In 2012

WASILLA, Alaska - It is now officially official, Sarah Palin has announced that she will not be running for the office of the president of the United States in 2012. "Snowflake" Palin spoke before a group of assembled news reporters on the front d...

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The Dorking Review - Emails About The Martin Shuttlecock YouTube Tapes

Funny story: The Dorking Review - Emails About The Martin Shuttlecock YouTube Tapes

The following emails about The Dorking Review, that much revered literary extravaganza, were received at the offices of Martin Shuttlecock, PR guru, media mogul, and aspiring train driver. It isn't really an office at all. It's just his front room. From paranoidandroid: It isn't a proper book. You stapled sheets that you'd printed off your computer, onto the cover of a proper book. To make i...

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MI6 Thought Extraordinary Rendition Was X Factor Boot Camp

A leaked report claims that MI6's role in the illicit transport of terror suspects was actually a misguided attempt to help people achieve their dreams of becoming the next Olly Murs. Far from being complicit in the torture of those deemed a threa...

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