Corrie's Michelle Keegan Photographed In The World's Most Miniscule Bikini - Lads' Mags Line Up In Bidding War
Sultry actress, Michelle Keegan, probably better known as Tina McIntyre, out of the world's best loved soap opera, Coronation Street, has apparently been photographed in the world's most miniscule bikini, and the lads mags are knocking one another's...
Read full storyDalglish Richly Deserves His New Three-Year Anfield Contract
Kenny Dalglish has signed a new three-year contract at Liverpool. Anfield bosses were so happy with his performance in the caretaker role he had occupied since January that they had no hesitation in offering him the new contract. Dalglish took...
Read full storyFIFA Not Corrupt Claims Blatter Rival
One of the main rivals to Sepp Blatter's FIFA Presidency has stated firmly that the world football governing body is not corrupt. Mohamed Bin Hammam, Qatari President of the Asian Football Federation, made the claim from his billion pound palace i...
Read full storyLennon To Be Fitted With A Bubble
After recent incidents where he was accosted in the street, received bullets and bombs in the mail and was assaulted by a Hearts fan only last night, Celtic boss Neil Lennon is to be fitted with a protective bubble that he will walk around in for the...
Read full storyAV Voters Claim Harassment At Work
Employers all over the United Kingdom have been receiving complaints of harassment from staff who voted Lib Dem in last week's elections and "Yes" in the Alternative Vote referendum. Thousands of employees who made the wrong choice twice last Thur...
Read full storyPalin's Breasts are a "Concern" to Trump
Manhattan - Donald Trump who is toying with a presidential bid in 2012 says he is "really concerned" about whether Sarah Palin has had breast augmentation surgery. "We've had "birther concerns" with President Obama and now we have legitimate "boober...
Read full storyEuropean leaders sing begging songs for German bailouts
This weekend, the European Bank will hold auditions to decide which countries will receive a bailout in the coming year. Countries will be judged on their success at maintaining a low deficit, GDP, melody and shaggability. Germany is hosting the a...
Read full storyChelsea Striker Didier Drogba finally reveals why he does not wear underwear and comments on Torres' arrival at Chelsea
Chelsea Striker, Didier Drogba, who recently turned 33, finally revealed to one of our reporters why he does not wear underwear. Apparently, when growing up, his family could only afford to buy the absolute essentials, which did NOT include under...
Read full storySnapped And Papped - Pippa Middleton Sunbathing With Kristen Stewart, Pixie Lott, Demi Lovato And Michelle Keegan
In what is being hailed in press circles as the most valuable set of snaps ever taken, a rogue paparazzo has secured the ultimate coup by papping Pippa Middleton, Kristen Stewart, Pixie Lott, Demi Lovato and Michelle Keegan out of Coronation Street,...
Read full storySuBo fanatic marries cardboard cut-out!
An obsessed American Susan Boyle fanatic has today married a life-sized cardboard cut-out of SuBo at his home in Redneck County. The cut-out, known as 'Flat Susan', has been used by fanatics at numerous 'Meet & Boast' gatherings around the USA...
Read full storyMan Endures 10-Hour Bus Ride To Buddhist Temple
An Englishman living in the Thai capital of Bangkok has told friends of how he endured a 10-hour coach journey to the far-ff northern outpost of Loei which is situated about six hours from the capital. Yes, that's right. Six hours. Not ten. Th...
Read full storyWayne Rooney asks Sir Alex to forbid Chicharito to pray on his knees before games, it's embarrassing!
Man Utd super-scorer, Chicharito, is deeply religious, Catholic actually, and before games he is always caught on TV, on his knees, praying to his God. His super-striker partner Wayne Rooney is not quite so religious and feels quite embarrassed h...
Read full story"45 Messages From John Prescott Hacked" Court Told - Former Deputy Prime Minister to seek Judicial Review
A private investigator is said to have intercepted up to 45 messages from the then Deputy Prime Minister and then emailed them to the News of the Screws, the High Court heard today. Lord Prescott's lawyers told how their client had been the victim...
Read full storyThe Secret Diary of an Al-Qaeda Leader aged 53 1/4
US agents have today released the personal diary of Osama Bin Laden, which gives a fascinating insight into his mental state and how he managed to run a global empire of terror from his shed. There follows edited extracts taken from earlier this year: January 22 2011. Dear Diary. Wife 3 burned the soup again today. I told her if she does it again, Allah won't let her into paradise. I'm s...
Read full storySpoof Writers band together to search for missing writer 'Inhopeless'. Last heard of worrying about his bottom.
Inhopeless, from Birmingham, England, has been missing from Discussion Forums for quite some time now. A close friend said she has not received a PM or email from him in weeks now although she has read and rated stories written by him (she believe...
Read full storyWhite House Reveals "Bo" Missing Since Korean President Lee Myung-Bak Visit: Leaves Obama Stewing
White House Press Secretary, Jay Carney, was asked today why Bo, the rambunctious Portuguese Water Dog that was given to the President's daughters by Senator Edward Kennedy and who debuted in the White House April 14, 2009, has not been seen running...
Read full storyPrincess Diana Death Photos Offered To Disreputable News Organisation
Photos of a dying Princess Diana being extraced from a crashed vehicle in a Paris underpass close by the Pont D'Alma have been offered to controversial UK based news agency, Skoob News International, for a substantial sum. Following a lengthy meet...
Read full storyTrain Track Gang Bang Just The Ticket
A 21 year old woman has appeared at Gravesend magistrates' court accused of having sex with five teenage boys close to the tracks at Abbey Wood, South London. Three of the boys were also present, but the other two managed to elude the police and...
Read full storyHealth & Safety Officer Suspended As A Result Of Manual He Helped Draft!
Roger Brownloaf, a health and safety inspector from Dudley, could hardly believe his eyes last Monday. For when he turned on his computer he found an email in his inbox telling him that he was suspended from active duties...because of a breach of hea...
Read full storyLong distance Crocodiles!
Crazy evolutionists are spinning a new yarn. The latest in a long line of improbable tales follows the adventures of the Crocodile. Evon Hekkala of Fordham University in New York and colleagues are responsible for this latest spellbinding fable, i...
Read full storyLG Corporation Secretly Owned by Warren Buffett's Ex-Girlfriend
Financial and social news wires buzzing from the story that broke earlier today, the mystery woman who would be Warren Buffett's former gal pal reportedly owns majority stock in the LG electronics corporation. A Canadian resident, self made billio...
Read full storyCarol Vorderman Still Good With Figures
She made her name on Channel 4's Countdown game show as the girl with a brain like a pocket calculator, as she almost invariably solved countless numbers game problems which left the majority scratching their heads in awe. Carol has since left the...
Read full storyLibya To Move To The UK
David Cameron has announced that Libya is to move from it's present location to a purpose built warehouse just outside Newport Pagnel. Cameron met the new Libyan rebel leader Mustapha Laugh during a recent package holiday to Lanzarote. The British...
Read full storySeveral Arrests Made at the Oasis Bar & Grille, Ft. Lauderdale
Local bar-restaurant famous for its micro-brewed "Skoob Lagers" and weekly Fried Haggis-on-a-Stick specials, was at the center of several Disturbing the Peace complaints this past Wednesday, resulting in 12 arrests. Apparently stemming from a bar...
Read full storyBill Shankly Given New Liverpool Deal
Bill Shankly has been given the manager's job at Liverpool on a more permanent basis. This follows a dramatic turnaround following a corpse replacing Roy Hodgson as manager. Liverpool fans were quick to point out that Shankly's dead body still had...
Read full storyAdolf Hitler Guilty Of Being A Nazi
Adolf Hitler has been convicted by a German court for being a Nazi. The court sentenced him to 5 years, although he is expected to have this sentence at least halved on the grounds that he is in fact dead. The court heard how Hitler had planned wo...
Read full storySport: Is It Getting Too Dangerous?
Sport. We all love it, both as players and as spectators, but, after a recent spate of deaths amongst the sporting fraternity, some people think we should be asking ourselves an all-important question: "Is sport getting too dangerous?" Those sp...
Read full storyGingrich Shocks GOP, Seeks Ron Reagan Jr. as Running Mate
Despite having some edge in the republican candidate race by virtue of some name recognition, Newt Gingrich hopes to strengthen his appeal to moderates and cross over progressives with his announcement of Ron Reagan Jr. as a potential running mate.
Read full storyLack of Pussy Blamed for Shut Down of Chinese Takeaway & Tragic Death!
Health Department Inspectors closed down a downtown London Chinese Takeaway after a recent inspection showed a complete disregard for the most modicum of prudent food handling. The report cited rampant mice droppings, dead mice on the floor, congea...
Read full story'Love, Honour and Fellate, Kate!' as Friday-the-13th tsunami fears hit Fregate honeymoon isle
Say-Shells - A cliched twist on the old 'Did the earth move for you, darlin?' is rattling the newlyweds, a tremor-watch conspiracy site said today. The royal pair's Seychelles honeymoon isle 'could see a massive tidal surge this weekend' TinFoilH...
Read full storyHugh Grant Turns Down Chance To Replace Charlie Sheen
Brit actor Hugh Grant has been asked to replace troubled actor Charlie Sheen in the next series of hit US TV comedy Two And A Half Men. But sources report that talks with the Bridget Jones's Diary star have stalled this week due to "creative diffe...
Read full storyQPR say no to 'missing link' Tevez
The QPR manager Colin Wanker has scoffed at rumours linking the sexy and fashionable West London football club with the window licking gypo Carlos Tevez. "Tevez's £200,000 a week wage demands were not a problem"stated a club spokesperson "but we a...
Read full storyFern Britton Show Axed - TV Repair Man Claims Another Triumph
Channel 4 has axed Fern Britton's teatime chat show after just one series. The series was Fern's first effort since she quit This Morning which became famous for her giggly relationship with co-presenter Phil Schofield. But the new show never a...
Read full storyFrog Standing for Presidency
Frog Grimface has thrown his spawn into the ring in a bid to win the Presidential nomination for the Republican Party. He comes with a history of frog spawn stretching over many miles and he thinks Rabbit Obama is likely to be tripped up with his rhe...
Read full storyTailgaters and undertakers not pleased at prospect of being fined £1000
The prospect of a £1000 fine for motorway tailgaters and undertakers has not gone down well with some drivers. The co-op, the country's largest funeral directors and Acme Trailers, the largest suppliers of tail gates and van back-end decorations h...
Read full storyBones Fans Horrified By Everglades Episode
Fans of the forensic show Bones are furious over the content of the latest episode, which aired last night. The show, which features the adventures of bones expert, Dr Temperance Brennan and her FBY agent partner, Seeley Booth, began, as usual, wi...
Read full storyDalglish To Be Crowned King Kenny
Liverpool FC's owners are flying to Merseyside to finalise Kenny Dalglish's coronation. Chairman Tom Werner and principal owner John Henry hope to crown their man in time for Sunday's clash with Spurs. Talks with the caretaker boss have been co...
Read full storyThe Pebble with a red streak- Part III
At this moment he wondered if the monocular man had seen him being raped and had passed his observation to his father. In his mind he tried to convince his father that he was raped by an unknown man, involuntarily. He was a victim! While being kicked, he was wondering how he could go to school, how he could stand the inquisitive looks of teachers, classmates and the entire villagers. He wished...
Read full storyScots Tories Bid To Change Image
Following their disastrous showing in the Holyrood elections last week, the Scottish Conservatives have decided to take a series of drastic measures. The first action was to get rid of leader Annabel Goldie who stood down on Monday - the Tories do...
Read full storyBirmingham Keeper Halts England Career
Birmingham City 'keeper Ben Foster has declared himself unavailable indefinitely for international duty to further his club career. The 28 year old has been Joe Hart's England understudy for the last 2 years but has decided that being associated w...
Read full storyJustin Bieber and Selena Gomez Agree To Put On A "Free Concert" For All Of The Heartbroken Los Angeles Laker Fans
LOS ANGELES - Admitting that it was not a pretty sight to watch, the number one Lakers fan Jack Nicholson says that he is still having trouble sleeping after his boys in blue and gold were swept out of the NBA playoffs by the Dallas Mavericks. Nic...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Denies The Rumor That She Is Cheating On Boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal With Ex-Boyfriend Taylor Lautner
PENSACOLA, Florida - Taylor Swift performed before a sell-out crowd at The Orange Seed Auditorium in Pensacola. Afterwards she was asked by Tilapia Frisbee with The Right Coast Illustrated Revue about the recent rumors that have surfaced east of t...
Read full storyThe 2nd Longest 40 Minutes of President Obama's life
Washington, DC - Quite obviously, the longest 40 minutes of US President Barak Obama's life was waiting to find out if the Bin Laden raid was successful. What people would like to know, however, is what happened during the second longest 40 minutes...
Read full storyScientists Develop a Bilingual Dolphin Communication Device
Costa Rica - Two scientists have developed a device that will finally allow us to decipher and communicate with dolphins. Dr. Federico Barrera and Dr. Augustin Sanches-Guerrero developed the dolphin translator two summers ago. It has taken two year...
Read full storyBin Laden's Personal Journal Reveals Lifelong Obsession with Obtaining KFC Secret Spices Recipe
"Why Allah, do you torture me so," are the final words written in Osama bin Laden's personal journal captured by the American military. But these pleading words, written in Arabic, do not refer to the terrorist leader's dream of destroying America, b...
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth Is Royally Pissed Off At The Latest Topless Photos of Pippa Which Were Taken Off The Island of Ibiza
LONDON - It seems that lately every time Queen Elizabeth turns around she is having to deal with yet another royal controversial issue. This time it concerns the Royal Wedding maid of honor Pippa Middleton the sister of Kate, the Duchess of Cambri...
Read full storyJon Gosselin and Heidi Montag To Star In The Action-Filled Sexually Explicit Spy Drama "Less Is More"
LOS ANGELES - Jon Gosselin the Jon in the former reality show Jon and Kate Plus 8, recently filmed a cameo appearance on the highly rated cable show The Real Housewives of Intercourse Pennsylvania. He sat down with iRumors Taffeta Kixx and talked...
Read full storyTwilight Star Robert Pattinson Explains Where The Rumor That He Has A Naked Photo of Kate Middleton On His Screen Saver Came From
LAKE TAHOE, Nevada - One of the entertainment worlds most popular actors Robert Pattinson is really no stranger to the world of controversy. RPattz was recently asked by the supermarket tabloid Just Saying why he has a naked photo of Prince Willia...
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth II Orders Apple iPad 2, the Royal Model
It's true. The technology revolution has reached the highest seat of power in Great Britain. As might be expected, the Royal iPad 2 will be no ordinary iPad. Apple hasn't revealed all the specifics regarding the special creation, but the...
Read full storySelena Gomez Presented With A Gold Plated Pogo Stick
Teen sensation Selena Gomez received an unexpected gift today when an adoring fan presented her with a custom built, gold plated pogo stick. The demure Texan chica was apparently thrilled when an avid fan turned up at her Mulholland Drive residenc...
Read full storyTaylor Lautner Wants To Buy A Whole Bunch Of Cuddlesome Rabbits
News just in from Hollywood suggests that Twilight heartthrob Taylor Lautner has been trucking around local pet stores looking to buy a whole bunch of rabbits to keep as pets in his Hollywood Hills mansion. According to reports, Lautner has been l...
Read full storyPanic In Hollywood As Ian Somerhalder Almost Trips Up
Hollywood agents and Lloyds of London today got themselves in a right old tizzy when 'Vampire Diaries' star Ian Somerhalder almost tripped up as he moved from his Hollywood lounge to the kitchen area to prepare a cup of iced tea. Initial reports s...
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