Written by Lady Godiva

Thursday, 12 May 2011

image for Chelsea Striker Didier Drogba finally reveals why he does not wear underwear and comments on Torres' arrival at Chelsea
Is he or is he NOT wearing underwear?

Chelsea Striker, Didier Drogba, who recently turned 33, finally revealed to one of our reporters why he does not wear underwear.

Apparently, when growing up, his family could only afford to buy the absolute essentials, which did NOT include underwear. Therefore, he was used to running around, as a child, playing football in baggy shorts with fresh air blowing around his genitals.

When he began playing professional football, team-mates began teasing him and his first manager, on hearing of the 'no-underwear' on the pitch, situation, took Drogbar aside and asked him to please 'reconsider'.

When asked what all of the fuss was about, the answer given to Drogbar was,

"What if your shorts were accidentally pulled down during a tackle?"

"What if?" he answered, "No big deal. It's just that I find underwear of any style, extremely restrictive and it affects my 'striking' ability.

Many times when I have played and not scored it was because I was wearing underwear at the request of team-mates and management. Just look at my last 9 matches. I caved in to their request, put on the underwear and didn't score one goal.

I prefer the freedom. So if the team wants the goals then let me and 'mine' be 'free'."

At the end of the interview he was asked about Fernando Torres and he denied that he has been feeling unsettled by the signing of Torres.

Drogba is in the final 18 months of his contract and hopes that with the help of Torres, Chelsea could well win the Champions League.

When Torres was asked whether he preferred tighty whities or boxers - or indeed, no underwear at all, he said to our reporter,

"Well this is for ME to know and the rest of the World to find out."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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