More Preposterous Letters To The Editor About Pecking Orders

Funny story: More Preposterous Letters To The Editor About Pecking Orders

Dire Sear. I have wishings to explort the known phrase, that is of "pecking order". I as you are knowing to, am from the origin, that which is of People's Republic de Chine, or that witch is the "Chinamen" to of old standings, leferences to such Blingo Harlls of etc, Narlwhich, Hrull, Wokington, etc many "Top Rlank" Blingo, fatty comickal jhoke-takure and so Forthe. "Pleas twoe Jingo-Jingo...

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News Reporters All Say At Least We Can Pronounce Iceland's Volcano Grimsvotn, Last Year's Volcano Eyjafjallajokull Was An SOB To Pronounce

Funny story: News Reporters All Say At Least We Can Pronounce Iceland's Volcano Grimsvotn, Last Year's Volcano Eyjafjallajokull Was An SOB To Pronounce

KEFLAVIK, Iceland - New reporters from all over the world are thrilled beyond words that the latest volcano to erupt out of Iceland at least has a name that most people will be able to pronounce. Grimsvotn has been hurling lava ash and tons of vol...

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Clegg Copies Obama In Attempt To Boost Ratings

Funny story: Clegg Copies Obama In Attempt To Boost Ratings

In an attempt to boost his flagging popularity, Lib Dem leader has taken a leaf out of Barrack Obama's book by going back to his roots. The US President returned to his ancestors' wig making shop in Moneygall, County Offaly, had a pint of Guinness...

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We Cannot Innovate - Microsoft

Funny story: We Cannot Innovate - Microsoft

Las Vegas (AP) A Microsoft customer Service representative has admitted they cannot innovate and are required to always follow protocol. The revelation that Microsoft is a slow clambering beast bogged down in bureaucratic protocol comes as no surp...

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Gay Ministers Debate Dominates General Assembly

Funny story: Gay Ministers Debate Dominates General Assembly

The issue of whether or not to ordain openly gay ministers has been exercising the minds of most of the attendees at the annual Church of Scotland General Assembly. In 2009 the ordination of the Reverend Scott Rennie split the church in view of hi...

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Life sucks! Mr Justice Eady's authority detumesces as entire country says Up Yours

Funny story: Life sucks! Mr Justice Eady's authority detumesces as entire country says Up Yours

London - A senior High Court libel judge who slapped down a red top application to un-gag a gagging order is tonight the laughing stock of the entire Royal Courts of Justice. Within an hour of Mr Justice Eady's rebuff of The Sun an MP outed the gi...

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Pippa Middleton admits that she is afflicted with what is known as Internet Humor Site Forum Dwellitis

Funny story: Pippa Middleton admits that she is afflicted with what is known as Internet Humor Site Forum Dwellitis

The sister of the Duchess of Cambridge and sister-in-law of the Duke of Cambridge has just made a startling admission. Pippa Middleton admitted to a news reporter for the BBC that she is in fact afflicted with what is know as Internet Humor Site Foru...

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Trampling on the 2nd Amendment!

Funny story: Trampling on the 2nd Amendment!

CCN (Crazy Cal News) MAGNOLIA, TEXAS - "The Tribune," the Magnolia newspaper, reports that the first grader brought a loaded gun to Ellisor Elementary on May 9th. The gun father said the 9mm Beretta wasn't loaded when the student got home. The studen...

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Isle of Wight News - Isle has disappeared under big grey ash cloud - search parties from mainland en route

Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Isle has disappeared under big grey ash cloud - search parties from mainland en route

The Isle of Wight has disappeared under a large grey cloud said to have come from the direction of Iceland. No communication has been made between the Isle and the Mainland for over 4 hours, causing concern. Search and rescue parties headed out...

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Man Sues Doomsday Prophet Harold Camping: "I would not have committed all those Crimes if I knew he would be wrong"

A man, who is being held in a city jail in Denver, Colorado for committing 28 felonies and 32 misdemeanors in a two day spree, is suing Doomsday Prophet Harold Camping for "really fucking me over". Jerry BrainDead committed the crimes during the...

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Ash cloud about to cover UK - Grey alert - Tantrums expected soon

Funny story: Ash cloud about to cover UK - Grey alert - Tantrums expected soon

A huge dense ash cloud is heading for the UK. The cloud is on its way from Iceland where volcanoes continue to erupt. People are asked to keep all children and pets indoors until given the 'all clear'. They are also being advised to bring in all...

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Armageddon Machine Breaks Down

Funny story: Armageddon Machine Breaks Down

Like its earlier failure in 1994, Howard Camping's Armageddonator® broke down only seconds after it was fired up on Saturday at 6:00 PM. "At the heart of the machine is an old REO Truck engine, and the dang main bearing just seized up," said Camp...

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Imogen Thomas has more footballers balls in her closet than Arnie Schwarzenegger has maids scrubbing in his!

Funny story: Imogen Thomas has more footballers balls in her closet than Arnie Schwarzenegger has maids scrubbing in his!

Imogen Thomas has admitted, that although she has been gagged (it was fun at the time apart from when the anonymous footie player applied the handcuffs, they were a bit too tight) she is bursting to reveal what everybody else in the world knows, apar...

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Giggsy's Been Playing Well This Season

Funny story: Giggsy's Been Playing Well This Season

Distinguished Manchester United footballer, and Welsh international Ryan Giggs has played an outstanding season's football, a season culminating in yet another Premiership winner's medal, (Number 12) and a possible Champions League final appearance a...

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The Time For Change Will Come Later, For Now Just Hide The Old Git

Funny story: The Time For Change Will Come Later, For Now Just Hide The Old Git

President Barrack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama are due to arrive in London on Tuesday for a state visit that is to last three days. They are to stay as guests of Her Majesty the Queen at Buckingham Palace. Prince Philip, however, will be unava...

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Britney and Rihanna in bondage have a handcuffed snog!

Funny story: Britney and Rihanna in bondage have a handcuffed snog!

Nothing shocks anybody anymore especially after "Bondaged Britney Spears" and "Raunchy Rihanna" got locked together in their chains and sent the crowd into a hot frenzy after doing a bit of S & M on stage at the Billboard Awards. Even Lady Gag...

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Brit 'birthers' to out Maya Angelou as Barack Obama DNA mom

Funny story: Brit 'birthers' to out Maya Angelou as Barack Obama DNA mom

London - In a direct tit-for-tat for 'Obama's Irish ancestry' spin a group of Brits plans to publish documents showing the 44th US President is the son of 'Global Renaissance Woman' Maya Angelou. A London state presidential visit from Tuesday will...

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Vegetarian Week Begins

Funny story: Vegetarian Week Begins

Hippies and smug food fascists everywhere began celebrating National Vegetarian Week today. I caught up with a vegetarian festival being held in Islington, London and was just in time to see the sponsored Gloat-a-thon. Many people were promising to g...

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Trump Pitches New Show to Fox; Celebrity Congressman

Funny story: Trump Pitches New Show to Fox; Celebrity Congressman

Following the self proclaimed success of his last season of Celerity Apprentice, the master of pomp and circumstance, in fact of pontification and self promotion as well, Donald Trump has announced the format of a new fall show. "Celebrity Congressm...

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Super Injunctions - Spectacular Own Goals?

Funny story: Super Injunctions - Spectacular Own Goals?

All the recent publicity regarding super injunctions appears to prove one thing - super injunctions are a complete waste of time and money, and only serve to focus even greater interest in the stories the litigants are attempting to gag. (Okay, that'...

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Fox Sports Snubs David Toms after Winning the PGA Colonial

Funny story: Fox Sports Snubs David Toms after Winning the PGA Colonial

With a searchable internet headline that read, "Long Wait Over, Toms Savors Win at Colon", Fox Sports and/or its news feed partners must have been sleeping, careless or just stupid when posting the headline, taking some of the sweetness of the win aw...

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The Amazing Award That Britney Spears Won At The 2011 Billboard Music Awards Show

Funny story: The Amazing Award That Britney Spears Won At The 2011 Billboard Music Awards Show

LAS VEGAS - The music in the MGM Grand Garden Arena for The 2011 Billboard Music Awards Show was loud, the costumes were loud, the crowd was loud, but Britney Spears microphone was as quiet as a yellow #2 pencil sitting on an Iowa school teacher's de...

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Giant foot crushes Antville; 234 dead

Funny story: Giant foot crushes Antville; 234 dead

According to Mr. Redbody, guard number 3425 of the colony, rescue workers today searched for victims of a giant foot that tripped through several local colonies this weekend, killing at least 234 in Antville, where a devastating foot touched down and...

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O'Bama Meets Ireland's Prominent Business and Social Leaders

Funny story: O'Bama Meets Ireland's Prominent Business and Social Leaders

After U.S. President Obama met with Ireland's political leadership, he made it a point to branch out into the countryside and meet business and social leaders in and around the town of Moneygall, where one of his Irish ancestors came from. Firs...

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Beyonce, Taylor Swift and Bieber Successfully Bankrupt Music Industry at Billboard Music Awards

Funny story: Beyonce, Taylor Swift and Bieber Successfully Bankrupt Music Industry at Billboard Music Awards

Yes Virginia, there is another music awards show and it isn't the Grammys, the MTV Music awards, the CMA's, the Juno Awards, or even the Nickelodeon Music Awards. In a last ditch effort to revive the struggling music industry, The Billboard Music Aw...

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Forget DSK & Berlusconi, Putin Comes Out of the Closet in Bid to Bounce Back to Presidency Thanks to Viagra!

Funny story: Forget DSK & Berlusconi, Putin Comes Out of the Closet in Bid to Bounce Back to Presidency Thanks to Viagra!

Russian strongman Vladimir Putin, out of the limelight, but not out of power for the past three years as Prime Minister, is said to be ready to retake the mantle of Presidential power in the upcoming election against protege Dmitry Medvedev! Puti...

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Tripoli Under Siege Part 2: Only Mama Knows

Funny story: Tripoli Under Siege Part 2: Only Mama Knows

...Just then a cell phone rang in Edward's shirt pocket. He took it out and held it to his ear. A loud inhuman shriek pierced the air as he held it away from his ear, followed by an explosion. He looked at the screen to see the number. "That's her number..." said Edward. "What was that?" "The scream was her, the explosion? God only knows, might be the local ammo dump getting hit by Mogamb...

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Wenger lines up new back four defence to challenge for title

Funny story: Wenger lines up new back four defence to challenge for title

With the close of the premiership season "drawing" to an end with a miserable 2-2 draw to Fulham. Arsene Wenger has admitted that he needs changes during the summer to be able to put a credible title challenge together next season. The French...

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Steve McClaren ponders past and possible management positions

Funny story: Steve McClaren ponders past and possible management positions

When you think of shredded wheat hair, years of being Alex Ferguson's brides maid and Umbrellas there's only one man fit these and more.. Steve McClaren. Being a master of social camouflage and blending into his new environment, Steve had been pondering his next management role. I caught up Steve over a pint and chat in the Ol' Blind Beggar pub in London's East End. When asked about his a...

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Birmingham City fans perplexed as world ends 24 hrs later than predicted

Funny story: Birmingham City fans perplexed as world ends 24 hrs later than predicted

Birmingham City followers have been left scratching their heads after a blonde haired Russian bloke who was supposed to have been Jesus Christ, ended their world 24 hrs later than had been recently predicted. Evangelist broadcaster, Harold Camp...

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Am A Drama Ding Dong! As Cuts Bite Deep At The BBC

Funny story: Am A Drama Ding Dong! As Cuts Bite Deep At The BBC

The cuts are biting harder and deeper and nowhere is it being felt more acutely than at that bastion of British broadcasting, The BBC. Budgets have been trimmed back so much that the corporation is having to plumb even further depths to get show t...

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Arsene Wenger fury at £10,000 'botched' hairdo

Funny story: Arsene Wenger fury at £10,000 'botched' hairdo

The merde has hit the fan in the Wenger household. After narrowly missing out on four trophies this season, Arsene Wenger is now walking round with a dodgy hairdo. The Frenchman is blaming a beauty salon in Totteridge for the state of his Bar...

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Chelsea Flower Show Window Box Fracas Arrest

Funny story: Chelsea Flower Show Window Box Fracas Arrest

A north London couple were arrested today following a fracas outside the Chelsea Flower Show. Ken and Liz Bonkers were released by police after a couple of hours and were warned to stay away from the show. The incident occurred as Mr and Mrs Bo...

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Football Banned From Top Satirical News Website

Funny story: Football Banned From Top Satirical News Website

The world of football was in uproar this morning, after it was announced by the administrators of top satirical news website TheSpook.com, that material on the subject of the world's favourite game were to be banned until August. Football, althoug...

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Donald Trump Names Country Music Artist John Rich The Winner of 2011's Celebrity Apprentice!

Funny story: Donald Trump Names Country Music Artist John Rich The Winner of 2011's Celebrity Apprentice!

MANHATTAN - Donald Trump originally had planned to use part of the Celebrity Apprentice finale show to announce his candidacy for the 2012 Republican presidential campaign. But since he scooped himself he was, as they say in nearby Brooklyn, sh*t...

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Passenger Finds Hair In His Dinner, But Doesn't Know Whether It Came From A Penis, Vagina Or, Of Course, A Beard!

Funny story: Passenger Finds Hair In His Dinner, But Doesn't Know Whether It Came From A Penis, Vagina Or, Of Course, A Beard!

A passenger on a flight from Dubai to Birmingham has told how he found a hair in his dinner, but didn't know whether its origin was a penis, a vagina or, more likely, a beard. Moys Kenwood, who has an inherent fear of beards, especially those on t...

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Paracetamol Pronunciation Headache

Funny story: Paracetamol Pronunciation Headache

Drug company executives were up in arms this evening after a government ruling on the pronunciation of the popular painkiller Paracetamol threw millions of users into panic and confusion. Paracetamol has for centuries been pronounced Para-seata-mo...

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Former Beach Boys Brian Wilson, Mike Love, and Al Jardine To Tour Again - But As The Beach Grandpa's

Funny story: Former Beach Boys Brian Wilson, Mike Love, and Al Jardine To Tour Again - But As The Beach Grandpa's

SANTA MONICA BEACH - The Beach Boys band was formed in 1961, by the Wilson brothers, Brian, Dennis, and Carl 50 years ago. The band also included Wilson cousin Mike Love, whose real name was Mike Hunt but he changed it for the obvious reason, and...

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Fears Raised That Katie Price's Head May Be About To Fall Off

Funny story: Fears Raised That Katie Price's Head May Be About To Fall Off

Following a catastrophic £11,000 visit to a Hollywood hairdresser, which seemingly led to her hair breaking off all over the shop, sources close to the reality TV star Katie Price, say that they are genuinely concerned that her entire head may fall o...

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British soldier discovered still fighting WWII after 65 years

Funny story: British soldier discovered still fighting WWII after 65 years

The stench is overwhelming. Discarded empty Woodbine packs, Bisto and Bird's instant custard tins, Camp coffee bottles and a galaxy of once-glittering Cadbury's chocolate bar foils decorate an anniversary cake of human excrement - piled up over sixty-five years on the jungle floor. Testament to a life lost. Thrown away on the the dung-heap of misplaced patriotism and hatred. History is littere...

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Manchester United Favourites For Relegation - William Hill

Funny story: Manchester United Favourites For Relegation - William Hill

As the curtain came down on the 2010/11 Premier League season yesterday, with Manchester United crowned champions for the 19th time, speculation has already started on how next season will pan out, and it's come as a huge surprise to many that the Re...

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Confusion As Man Thinks Girlfriend Is Going To Ring Him, Whilst She Thinks He Is Going To Ring Her!

Funny story: Confusion As Man Thinks Girlfriend Is Going To Ring Him, Whilst She Thinks He Is Going To Ring Her!

There was a real sense of confusion in Bangkok at the weekend, when a man was kept waiting for hours as he sat by the telephone expecting a call from his girlfriend, whilst, in another part of the city, she waited patiently for him, thinking he was g...

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