Susan Boyle reveals her New Year's Resolution
Susan Boyle has revealed her New Year's Resolution for 2011 and it has come as a huge surprise to her fans. Many thought she would be resolving to visit 3rd World countries to embark on missionary work in some shape or form. She stunned the 'fanship' by announcing, this morning: "Och...Ahm gonna t'spend a lo' o' time in Middlesbrough. That's in the North East of England, as some of yer...
Read full storyWikisquirts release: More Entries from Amy Winehouse's Diary
As promised our WikiSquirts London Bureau has uncovered more entries from the teenage diary of drug-addled pop star Amy Winehouse. You'll remember these entries were from a as yet unauthenticated diary from the trash can or as they say in jolly ole England "rubbish bin" in front of the Norfolk-Suffolk borders, Ellingham Hall, where Julian Assange is currently spending his "house arrest" atten...
Read full storyTen Things Smaller Than Brett Farve's Penis
In light of Minnesota Vikings (former) quarterback Brett Favre being fined $50,000 for causing irreparable harm to a defenseless (text) receiver, after sending New York Jets Gameday host Jenn Sterger pictures via cell phone of an old, wrinkled member that stopped serving it's purpose a long time ago (he also showed her his penis), Thespoof has amassed this list of ten things in the universe smalle...
Read full storyBrooklyn's Goombalini Family Plans To Track Down The 'Tracking Cookie' Kooks And Squash Them Like Crackers
BROOKLYN - The head of the Brooklyn-based Goombalini Family, Salvatore "The Pizza Man" Goombalini was recently approached by a group of computer programmers from Detroit about a little problem they are having. The group headed by Gino Stashafini,...
Read full storySchwarzenegger Confirms Intention to Run for President
Outgoing Californian Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has confirmed his intention to run for the President once he has transitioned out of his current role. He has been a controversial Governor for California, in part for his decision to sell the ci...
Read full storyThe Aishwarya Rai Inflatable Doll Has Just Become The Biggest Selling Inflatable Doll of All-Time
CHICAGO - America's largest toy manufacturer the Hasbroken Toy Company has just announced that due to the recent Christmas sales the Aishwarya Rai Inflatable Doll has just surpassed the Cheryl Cole Inflatable Doll in sales. Spokesperson for the ma...
Read full storySaturn's Moon Yields Evidence of Arsenic-Dependent Life Forms - Has Ann Coulter's, Kathy Griffin's Home Planet Been Discovered?
When NASA scientists recently uncovered organisms in Mono Lake, California subsisting on arsenic-rich mud, they quickly turned their attention to Titan, Saturn's moon. "Titan has conditions quite similar to those of Mono Lake, which was previousl...
Read full storySimon Cowell Confirms New Show - "Prison's Got Talent"
Simon Cowell, pop music mogul and part time vampire has confirmed today that he is working on a new show which will air in Spring 2011. The new show, "Prison's Got Talent", will see Cowell and 2 judges working their way around various jails in the...
Read full story"Welcome to Kogalymavia Flight 7K-348 From Siberia to..." -KABOOM!- "Ahhhh!! Poluchitʹ Yebut S Samoleta!"
A Flight attendant giving the safety speech to 124 people on a Russian passenger jet was rudely interrupted by the plane, when it exploded on a Siberian runway, killing three people and injuring 43, including six who were badly burned, officials said...
Read full storyHoliday season "disaster" strikes
In a story which has been developing since late summer, local bicycle thieves have been on a very successful route around an American city, stealing as many bicycles as they can get away with. Their main targets are bicycles which are secured with...
Read full storyNew Mexico's Governor Bill Richardson Refuses To Pardon Billy The Kid - And Adds "And I Ain't Kidding!"
SANTA FE, New Mexico - Sitting in the governor's mansion Casa Cactus, Governor Bill "The Pill" Richardson flat out refused to issue a state pardon for one of the most notorious outlaws to ever wreak havoc upon the American Wild West. Billy The Kid...
Read full storyCanadian FUX in 2011
Ottawa -- The Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC) has approved an application by Canadian FUX Broadcasting Company to operate a television network in Canada. Majority shareholders, René Lecavalier and Danny Gallivan...
Read full storyPresident Obama to have White House re-painted and re-named
News that President Obama has decided to have The White House re-painted and re-named has just been released. President Obama issued a statement today that he DOES want to have the White House re-painted and re-named as, in his opinion, the presen...
Read full storyNew threat to air travellers from 'hate freedom' terror groups
Government concerns of new sophisticated terrorist methods of bypassing current TAC security measures at airports have come to the attention of ace investigative journalist Tommy Twinkle including plans to implant explosive devices into the...
Read full storyDr. Ruth's New Book: "If It Fits, it Doesn't Slip"
Dr. Ruth has announced her new book on sexual health. The title, patterned after the successful US Postal Service motto of, "If it fits, it ships," reads, "If it Fits, It Doesn't Slip," and has a sub-title, "Kegel and So Much More!" The book is...
Read full storyDavid Cameron in House Key Hell
David Cameron has tonight spoken for the first time of his House Key Hell. The House Key Hell has proven to be so horrific that David has previously declined to talk about the subject, but last night he broke his silence to tell some of his newest f...
Read full storySensational solar eclipse for Tuesday's New York Stock Exchange birthday
New York - (Supernova News): A Bull Run message from the Gods? World financial markets are on a knife edge ahead of Tuesday's stunning Capricorn solar eclipse. The phenomenon is empowered by the kind of unprecedented, non-Clintonian comeback ki...
Read full story"Anna Chapman's Siberia" New 8 Part Series to be Picked up by CNBC to Counter Palin's TV Success!
Reacting to it's diminished message of 'social change & redistribution of wealth', struggling TV network CNBC has picked up a new 8 part series staring the red headed defrocked Russian spy, Anna Chapman! Titled "Anna Chapman's Siberia" the tr...
Read full storyElton's piles return
Elton John's famous piles have returned with a bloody vengeance after a rather rough new years eve party and he is considering surgery early in the new year. Dr Herman Clitterman (of rebore and sleeve fame) and well known in Harley Street for his...
Read full storyWilliam Hague poem found in church!
Inchcock Chambers, the retarded and horrifically inept Spoof reporter, has many part time jobs due to the lack of pay he does not receive, including one as the vergers second assistant/cleaning trainee at St John's Church. In late December, Inchco...
Read full storyWikisquirts Release: Source material for the next "Twilight" movie "Midnight at the Oasis"
Our WikiSquirts Los Angeles Bureau has been shut down indefinitely due to some "lease" conflict so our source has relocated to Crescent City. However, our source was able to gleen from a studio lot trashcan what appears to be the source material for...
Read full storyThe Secret of Happiness?
It's official. The happiest people on earth are in the small independent province of Paxovia in Russia. It is so safe there that doors are left unlocked, car keys can be left in the ignition and if you lose your wallet or purse it will be returned to you within hours or still be in the place you left it. I went there to find out for myself. As soon as I arrived in Solacia the capital, I was am...
Read full storySusan Boyle welcomes in 2011 in style
Susan Boyle has welcomed in 2011 in great style. Susan had a huge party at her new house in Blackburn. Invited guests were all of the people of the village. There were NO celebrities invited. When asked why Susan had hostessed a party excluding...
Read full storyEPA "Skinning the Cat" of American Business
WASHINGTON DC - Some people were suspicious when the EPA was allowed to declare Carbon Dioxide as being equally toxic as Cyanide, Mercury, and the pesticide DDT. More people became suspicious when Secretary of the Interior Department Ken Salazar was allowed to falsely represent the findings of seven scientists and engineers as cover for authority to close all US oil production in the Gulf. Aft...
Read full storyHugh Heffner up-sells monogamy
Hugh Heffner, the 84-year-old founder of sex, has used the announcement of his third marriage to up-sell the important role monogamy has played in encouraging sex starved men to make him the lecherous multi-millionaire he is today. In a message to...
Read full storyHitler is Alive!
New York journalist Patrick Raisin relates his meeting with head of Germany's Neo-Nazi Party that is fast gaining popularity among the young not only in Germany but in many other countries around the world. Frantz Kleindick, flanked by two of his Stormtroopers, was lounging in a leather swivel-chair behind his desk when I was shown in. All three wore the old Gestapo black uniform with Swastika...
Read full storyCousteau Discovers Fido Plankton
Following in the flipper steps of his famous father Pierre-Yves Cousteau met with marine science students at the Andres Bello University this week along with representatives of the Chilean communications agency Alkance Comunicaciones to speak about C...
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