Written by Lady Godiva

Saturday, 1 January 2011

image for Susan Boyle reveals her New Year's Resolution
Billy the Willy - still Susan Boyles biggest fan

Susan Boyle has revealed her New Year's Resolution for 2011 and it has come as a huge surprise to her fans.

Many thought she would be resolving to visit 3rd World countries to embark on missionary work in some shape or form.

She stunned the 'fanship' by announcing, this morning:

"Och...Ahm gonna t'spend a lo' o' time in Middlesbrough. That's in the North East of England, as some of yer know, and a lo' o' time on The Isle of Wight. A have rred so much aboot these two places in the pages of The Spoof. They both sound fascinatin'. How could A fail to be mesmerized by these locations and the wee folk who live therrrre?

Ahm hoping to mee' up wi' some o' those folk A've rred aboot, such as Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, both of Carrrrrgo Fleet, Middlesbrough.

They sound like two canny wee lasses and A hear their favourrrrite place ta' eat is at Morrrrison's, Berrrwick Hills Brrrrrranch where they do a grrrrreat pla' o' fish 'n' chips 'n' mushy peas. They even sell irn bru, made frae girrrrders. (Giggles)

Och, dinna worrry, A'll still be recorrrdin' and doing' all tha' otherrrr stuff. A just wanna spend some of ma tym wi' orrrrrdinarrrry folk an' have a wi' bi' o' a laugh yea ken?

A herrrrrd The Isle o' Wight is full o' canny characters....indeed A do rememberrrr visitin' there on one o' me whirrrrrlwind tourrrrs last yearrrr.

Yes, that's ma plan ferrrrr 2011."

We have promised to keep up with Susan's movements and career during 2011.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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