Times Square Crowds Treated to Kindle-toting Preacher
Yep, there he was -- with a long beard and a flowing, white robe -- standing on a makeshift platform, shouting to the crowd a litany of Biblical verses about hell, damnation, and repentance. But he wasn't reading from a printed Bible yesterday. No...
Read full storyGordon Brown goes home to Scotland as euro zone 16 instruct the UK to help bail out Greece
UK Prime Minister, Gordon Brown is not so silly as might be thought by many. In a cunning and decisive departure from London, Mr Brown knows all about the stitch up in the EU. Under the Lisbon Treaty, France and Germany have cobbled together a dea...
Read full storyQueen Elisabeth II dissolves hung parliament
For hundreds of years the constitutional monarchy of the United Kingdom has held firm lacking in either a set constitution or a cognisant monarchy. It has been a peaceful accord held together by ancient laws as convoluted as they are redundant. Tha...
Read full storySuBo's cat becomes bus driver
Susan Boyle's pet cat Pebbles (or PeBo as fanatics insist) was spotted earlier driving the number 29 bus in central London. Pebbles moved to London last year after SuBo set off on her international travels hotly pursued by red scarf wearing wealthy f...
Read full storyNigel Farage rescued from Staten Island Ferry prang
New York - (Portents): On Thursday he made a bit of a public exhibition of himself with a kamikaze plane stunt in Karen Hinton-in-the-Hedges, Beds. And today UKIP Parliamentary wannabe Nigel Farage had to be dragged off the Staten Island Ferry whi...
Read full storyFoxy Four-Foot Tall Midget In *Playboobs* Magazine Centerfold!
"Anna Janna", who has become the queen of the home-movie bachelor party set, is rumored to be the *Playboobs Centerfold for September of this year. "It's about time they allowed we small people to show the average guy what he's missing by over-loo...
Read full storyLust Busters Ch. 1-3
Lust Busters is a dynamic tale of sex and runaway libidos, unparalleled orgies on a grand scale, exorcism and mysterious strangers, FBI Special Squads, and all branches of the armed forces engaged in a dramatic clash with good against evil and much more. It's also a love story...depending on how you define love, of course. It's even alleged to be funny. And it has more sex in it by actual count...
Read full storySusan Boyle to open Fish 'n' Chip shop next door to Harrods
Susan Boyle is planning to open a new Fish 'n' chip shop next door to Harrods. She believes it is 'well needed' in that area of London. "Let's face it," she says, "there's lots o' folk out there visitin' Harrods's just to buy a wee candy stick so they can have it put in a Harrod's bag as proof they shopped there. Oh! For goodness sakes, one o' ma fans from Middlesbrough told me her mam did th...
Read full storySurvivor England Heats Up
Host Jeff Probst has announced that Survivor England is now entering into the final weeks of competitions that will select this year's champion. "We are now down to three contestants: David Cameron, Gordon Brown and Nick Clegg." "Previous winn...
Read full storyTiger Mounts Sleepwalker Defense
Fornication-addicted former golf great Tiger Woods confessed today that he doesn't take responsibility for boning any the women he reportedly boned because he was asleep during all of his reputed 220 sexual encounters. "I knew nothing about whate...
Read full storyGordon Brown just cannot work with anyone
Gordon Brown just cannot get along with anyone he works with. This is a known fact and has been like this since he started school at the age of 5 so should be no surprise to anyone who knows him. His Primary, through to High School teachers,...
Read full storyEngland's north elects fruit cake
The constituency of Salford and Eccles have re-elected Hazel Blears as their Member of Parliament. Miss Blears rose to fame during 2009 MPs' expenses scandal and has now been duly re-elected by local voters. Miss Blears, is an ex Communities Secre...
Read full storyPamela Anderson's Top-Shelf Idea To Solve BP Oil Disaster
Malibu, CA - In a stunning turn, recently-displaced Dancing With The Stars contestant Pamela Anderson is donating several hundred of her old breast implants to the U.S. EPA and British Petroleum, in the hopes of suffocating the leaking oil site deep...
Read full storySubo fanatics join in LS Lowry celebration in Manchester
Well known artist LS Lowry was, today, celebrated in Manchester by artistic tableaux depicted by 1,000 naked art lovers. These naked art lovers, all ages, shapes and sizes, joined together in honour of LS Lowry and every 10 minutes they formed dif...
Read full storySarah Palin Earns New Pageant Title: Miss Disingenuous
It is amazing how a few million dollars can change a person's perception of the world, especially when it comes to politics. Less than 2 years ago, Sarah Palin was the Governor of Alaska and the wife of an oil man--an oil man who worked for a company by the name of British Petroleum (BP). Yep, the very same oil company that is in the headlines today for one of the largest oil spills in history off...
Read full storyFat Slob Carefully Plots Next Move After Running Out of Beer
Russell "Buddy" Jenkins hoisted himself out of his lawn chair to dig for another beer but all he found was some partially melted ice and a few empties. "I knew we were drinkin at a good pace, but I was shocked to find out that we finished off a 30...
Read full storyCargo fleet women react to news about Iceland
Two women from Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough, Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, attended the seminar in Middlesbrough Town Hall, held during the week. The seminar was held by owners of the Iceland franchises around the country. These shops sell mainly 'frozen' foods and are popular with many shoppers as a result of their low prices and highly nutritious food items. Their weekly takings be...
Read full storyChubby Brown reacts to news that The Red Scarf Brigade have bought Harrods
Christ! Can you f***ing believe it. Some dozy members of the RSB (Red Scarf Brigade aka Subo Fanatics) have gone and bought Harrods (with an 'H'). What the f**k is 'appening to the werld. I always like to do a bi' o' shopping with our lass when we go to the Smoke, especially in Harrods. Arm in two minds whether to bloody bother anymore. Sh*t those deranged women 'ave enough money, or...
Read full storyCivil war looms as Britain knuckles down to having three Prime Monsters
London - (Blind-Leading-The-Blind-Mess): Hoodwinked UK voters were subjected to the nauseating sight of the three pathetic wannabes strutting opportunistically around the Cenotaph today. The VE Day commemoration was led by Pretender to the Throne...
Read full storyObama the Antichrist? The Devil's in the detail
Christian fanatics have recently posted an Urgent warning online regarding a report linking Barack Obama to the number 666. All readers know where this is going! "Hurry to get details of how to get your copy (purchase your copy) online before the threats to take it offline are put into action", is the plea from the writers of this new 200 page report. $$$$$$$$$ Who do YOU think is more '...
Read full storyBP Announces New Clean Up Plan - Free Oil!
CCN (Crazy Cal News) Gulf of Mexico - BP announced a new plan to clean up the Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill. Today, they will release television commercials and newspaper ads advertising free oil to anyone who can come get it. A BP spokesperson said th...
Read full storySarah Palin Lusting After Carly Fiorina Has Facebook Fans Furious
Palin's Facebook page took over 2000 angry hits after a post she wrote stated that she strongly endorsed Carly Fiorina to challenge Barbara Boxer for her Senate seat in November. The Facebook entry started out "Carly, Carly, she's our (Wo)man, if...
Read full storyMake sense of sex with Msr. Francois Dubois, SJ
Today's subject is sexual positions Dear Msr. Dubois: I am a 19-year-old junior at University of Georgia in Athens. I lost my virginity last week (or at least I think I did) at the Delta's keg party. It wasn't at all what I expected, having to stand up in a broom closet while my date ripped down my panty hose and kept jabbing at my crotch. Finally, he asked me if he could stick his finger...
Read full storyBacking Up a Toilet During a Party Is #1 Party Foul
Reader's Digest came out with their top 10 party fouls list and it is no surprise that backing up a toilet at a party is at the top of that list. This event is troubling enough at your own house, but when it happens during a party at a friends house, it is nearly impossible to redeem yourself. Some experts call this, "The Ultimate Party Foul." No host wants to be interrupted with this situation...
Read full storySpoof Party wooed by Tories!
A little known group of hardline misfits called "The Spoof Party" were this morning being wooed by David Cameron & Gordon Brown for their crucial seat in the House of Commons. So far David Cameron had only offered "Free Tea & Biscuits" wit...
Read full storySusan Boyle fanatics buy 'Harrods'
It's true, in that it's all false. Mr. al Fayed has indeed sold Harrods, the famous London Department store. At first the name of the buyer(s) was not disclosed but one amazing spoof journalist has a source close to the Red Scarf Brigade, and was...
Read full storySpoofGate: Climate Scientists Put Poor Spoof Writers Out of Work
"They're taking the bread out of our mouths!" says Spoof journalist Pullmi Legg, founder of the Writers, Anecdotalists, Naysayers, Kick-arsers, Egocentrics and Recidivists Society (WANKERS). He's issued the following statement about his reasons for giving up writing for Spoof. "For years we've been taking the piss out of these myopic truth-benders and their exaggerated alarmist claims, but late...
Read full storyGossip Girl Book Drives Florida Woman to Edge of Insanity
Orlando, FL - A woman in a small town outside of Orlando, Florida, dubbed "Auntie Literary," is openly stealing books from her local library in an effort to keep the kinds of books she doesn't want her daughter to read out of other women's daughters'...
Read full storyAdam Lambert Condition Worsens
Singing star Adam Lambert has had three weeks of his body totally rebelling against him. First he had a rapid heartbeat and then suddenly gained ten pounds before he even realized that his pants were getting tighter. "I accused my partner of kn...
Read full storySee Beibers from space!
BIEBERS CAN BE SEEN FROM SPACE! - NASA has released photos of a dam a family of Beiber have built. It can be found in Alberta's Wood Buffalo National Park. The Dam can be seen from space, and according to authorities, at 850 meters it is twice th...
Read full storyDubai Airport Toilets Win Cleanliness Accolade
There were celebrations at Dubai International Airport this morning when it was revealed that the airport had been congratulated on the cleanliness of its toilet facilites - in the face of the most unbelievable filth imaginable to man. Moys Kenwoo...
Read full storyPixelated Penises
AUSTRALIA - The Prime Minister Big Kev and his right hand Stevie Conroy have decided Australia should have the first total ban on anything naughty anywhere. "We must protect the Australian people from anything that I or my mate think is a little...
Read full storySuBa Sued By SuBo
A legal team representing Scottish diva Susan Boyle have taken action to stop A Question Of Sport presenter Sue Barker shortening her name to SuBa. SuBo is thought to be unaware of this and would in no way condone this action as she is a huge fan...
Read full storyBrown in 'Dirty Protest'
Gordon Brown tonight indicated that he would not willingly leave No 10, but that he would resist, possibly involving a protest mimicking the "dirty protests" so synonymous with 1980's Northern Ireland. Mr Brown explained that he would use any legi...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Is So Into Cory Monteith She Wrote A Song About Him - "Cory Cory The Kissing Guy From Glee"
WYOMISSING, Pennsylvania - Taylor Swift has always written songs about guys who have passed through her life. She wrote "Joey Joey You're My Favorite Toy Toy" about Joseph of the Jonas Brothers. And she wrote "Hey, What A Coincidence My Name's Tay...
Read full storyJulius Caesar Act 2: A Parody
We wanted to give our la teacher a good LoL, so we completely BS'd an overview of shakespear's act 2 of Julius Caesar. Anyone who legitimately knows the play will get a kick out of it. Mark Antony murders his father, Julius Caesar, by accidentally poisoning his salad. Meanwhile, his best friend Cassius is plotting revenge on his arch rival Brutus, for stealing his two beloved wives...Calphu...
Read full storyWetwang Sevens Tournament faces closure
Due to severe over-crowding and increasing complaints of fishy smells and rude behaviour, Wetwang Parish Council are threatening to close down the annual rugby sevens tournament. The Wetwang Sevens (referred to as the Fish Shop Next to Black Swan...
Read full storyPartial Skeleton of Amazon Woman Found in Brazil
Sao Paulo Brazil: Dr. "Indiana" Jones while searching in the Brazilian Jungle, along the Amazon River, for an ancient pre-Columbian city of gold has found the remains of a large woman. This find may produce the first tangible evidence that the legend...
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