Susan Boyle fanatics buy 'Harrods'

Funny story written by Lady Godiva

Saturday, 8 May 2010


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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image for Susan Boyle fanatics buy 'Harrods'
Oldest Red Scarf Brigade member with rather faded red scarf

It's true, in that it's all false. Mr. al Fayed has indeed sold Harrods, the famous London Department store.

At first the name of the buyer(s) was not disclosed but one amazing spoof journalist has a source close to the Red Scarf Brigade, and was told, they have indeed bought the store for an undisclosed amount.

The members who are now partners in Harrods are devout Susan Boyle fanatics and the first plan they have for the store is to redecorate the world famous 'washrooms' in their favourite colour - red, with gold accents. It is to be re-named The Red Room.

They plan to have a whole department in Harrods, dedicated to the sale of Susan Boyle paraphenalia, including their famous red scarves, but have promised there will be NO RED PLASTIC, just hand woven silk, from the best silk worms they can find.

Customers will have the choice of buying a scarf with a 'scripture' embroidered on it in 24 carat gold thread, or the list of song titles from Susan's first album.

As soon as the song titles for the 2nd C.D. are released, they will be offered as an 'extra' on the scarf.

These scarves come with a special blessing from The Red Scarf Brigade.

Other items to be sold in the Subo Department are rumoured to be: Pictures of Susan and the Pope (when they meet), hand-made mini replica's of the quilt which was given to Susan as a gift from her fans, mini-replica's of an electronic photograph frame containing photographs of many members of the Red Scarf Brigade, as well as autographed photographs of members of The Red Scarf Brigade themselves.

Regular card carrying members of The Red Scarf Brigade will receive a 25% discount on any purchase. The discount will then be re-directed to the No.1 fanclub they belong to.

Members of Team Purple, an offshoot of the original fan club, are quoted as saying, "Gawd 'elp London?" and "Och, these wee lassies fair ge' on ma tits".

No Susan Boyle fans who are members of the 'Club Purple Teams' (of which there are two affiliates) will be entering the store.

More as this story unfolds.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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