Cargo fleet women react to news about Iceland

Written by Lady Godiva

Saturday, 8 May 2010

image for Cargo fleet women react to news about Iceland
These signs are on every street corner in Cargo Fleet

Two women from Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough, Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, attended the seminar in Middlesbrough Town Hall, held during the week.

The seminar was held by owners of the Iceland franchises around the country. These shops sell mainly 'frozen' foods and are popular with many shoppers as a result of their low prices and highly nutritious food items.

Their weekly takings began falling as fast as the volcanic ash spewing out of the volcano in the 'country' of Iceland.

Many of their regular customers, not having heard of Iceland, 'the country' had believed their beloved Iceland stores were erupting and had taken their custom to Morrisons.

They attended the seminar in the Town Hall with hudreds of others, in the hopes of getting some 'cut and save' coupons or some 'past sell by date' items for free.

Instead, they got a bit of an education. After watching the slide show and listening to the speakers Takwana and Anitakapita were interviewed for the local News Paper, "Gobsmaked In The Boro' ".

They both said they were 'enlightened'. That wasn't an exact quote....what Takwana did say is,

"Sh*t we never knew tha' there was a country called Iceland did we Anitakapita? Our lad'll be dead chuffed now a can go back to our normal shop wivout fear of being blown up."

Anitakapika added, "Yeah! We'll be able to shop in comfort now wivout any of those posh sods from Berwick Hills looking down their noses a' us. Some of 'em fink just coz they've got a GCSE tha' they're betteran us, don't they Takwana? Cheeky sods....A bet they don't even put clean knickers on every week either. At least WE do...we know a bit about hygiene yer know."

They were a tad disappointed at not getting any coupons or free food, but were happy with the outcome. They came out of the seminar giving the Morrison picketers 'the middle finger' as they made their way to their waiting taxi.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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