Tia Brodie Is On Fire For Robert Pattinson
Porn star turned semi-naked fire-eating singer Tia Brodie - the bare-breasted babe who made Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan sweat but left ice-maiden Amanda Holden cold on Britain's Got Talent is desperate to perform a naked fire-act in front of sullen...
Read full storyLife without sex - Is it so bad?
In many ways, the idea of a celibate lifestyle, as supposedly practised by the Catholic Church, is viewed with amusement and puzzlement among believers and non-believers alike. At best a sad and lonely state, at worst a twisted perversion of sexualit...
Read full storyLeaked Vatican Email Stuns Foreign Office
A leaked Vatican email has left Foreign Office officials incensed after suggesting that the Pope should flip his second home whilst on a visit to Britain, the Daily Torygraph revealed today. Called "The Ideal Visit", the document was believed to b...
Read full storyDr Who Who Do You Think, You Are
As correctly claimed in a recent, Spoof story the new Dr Who Matt Smith will appear on the BBC TV Series Who Do You Think You Are. Quite often the, celebrities who appear on, the show get a surprise when they dig up their, roots. The last, Dr Who...
Read full storyJack Tweed found not guilty of doing anything
The widow of the late Jade Goody was found not guilty in court today of doing anything worthwhile or interesting. Jack Tweed or Jack Shit as he's probably not known to his friends walked free from Snaresbrook Crown Court and was looking forward to...
Read full storyFred Flintstone Furious at, "Fred Flinstone" Spoof False Impressons
Famous cartoon caveman, Fred Flintstone, is angry that a recent story in The Spoof about, a similar-sounding caveman one, Fred Flinstone who frequents drive in theartere "Stonhenge, might" make people who don't know better think, that the story is ab...
Read full storySwedish royal wedding bombs as Bush's son Jonas Bergstrom 'shags Norwegian handball star'
Sweden - (Stockholm Syndrome): The royal wedding of Princess Madeleine and George W Bush's Swedish son Jonas Bergstrom has been scratched. Tanned, blue-eyed 31 year-old lawyer Bergstrom has blown it - and all because of a one night stand with lus...
Read full storyWife Throws Away Collection Of Gold Coins; Thought They Had Expired Dates
John Milsap, a retired 89 year old farmer from Stanton, Nebraska, reported that his wife, Irina, threw away his collection of gold Double Eagle coins that he stored in a 10 gallon milk can located in the hay-loft of his barn. He estimated that there...
Read full storyJesse James Says He Would Love To Meet Tia Brodie, aka "The Fire Eater"
LONG BEACH, California - According to Jesse James' main tattooist, Dusty "Bubba" Applecutter, the soon-to-be-no-longer Mr. Sandra Bullock wants to meet Tia Brodie, aka "The Fire Eater" so bad he can taste her. James who has been keeping a low prof...
Read full storyPoliticians told to stop using the F-word
The Office of Fair campaigning (OFC) has intervened in the election campaign following scores of complaints from your intrepid reporter. BubblyIan is completely sick of the over-use of the F-word in campaigning. All the parties have been saying th...
Read full storyAustralian Cane Toad Sausage Cures Erectile Dysfunction
Brainbugs down under have stumbled on what to do with the menacing cane toads by grinding the evil little hoppers into sausage. The toads are notorious for their ugly and toxic nature and have been poisoning the local endangered wildlife. Spe...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Condemned to Child Star Hell!
Lindsay Lohan became the first casualty of the 'Lost' rip-off film 'The Other Side' when producers sent her to big girl Hollywood time out for the rest of her career. Lindsay is best known for her past Disney days and current ample breasts and wi...
Read full storyGlenn Beck Comes Clean Saying Teabaggers Can't Handle the Truth
Glenn Beck, in what can only be called a rare show of conscience, admitted that most of what he's been telling listeners on his television and radio shows happen to be lies that he has perpetrated in order to continue to rile up the right. But before...
Read full storyNext Dr Who will be female
In accordance with the requirements under the Inequalities Act 2010 to discriminate in favour of women, the BBC have announced that the next Doctor Who MUST be female. A spokeswoman said,"As with all other media outlets, super-heroes must now all...
Read full storyBernanke Bankrupts GM
Think tank BAI (Bubble Analytics Institute) has credited Ben Bernanke with forcing General Motors Corp the the brink of bankruptcy. By driving the fed rate down from 5.25 to 2.0 in just a few months, Bernanke caused the value of the dollar to plun...
Read full storyKermit the Frog Swears off Pork, Now Dating a Cow
Following a tumultuous break up between famed television and stage actors, Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy, Kermit was apparently seen having a romantic dinner with Kirstie Alley at the Roma Café in Midtown Manhattan. No stranger to controversy, Ke...
Read full storyAll parties agree to scrap Human Rights
In a rare show of unanimity, all the political parties, including BNP and UKIP, agreed to scrap the Human Rights Act. A Labour party spokeswoman said, "we have cross-party support for this. Scrapping the Human Rights Act is extremely popular in th...
Read full storyThe Pope should "take the shame"
Young people in the UK have many disarming phrases meant as put downs and to which there is no answer. One favourite is "take the shame!" You acted like a numpty, a div, a tool are some of the kindest definitions of this phrase. Perhaps "what a tr...
Read full storyExtremist clerics forbid Kenyans not wearing Burka's to watch the World Cup!
Extremist clerics in Northern-Kenya have warned all 'footy' fans, male or female, "if they don't wear Burka's whilst watching the World Cup, they will be banned." This has caused an outrage in many parts of "footy nutty" Kenya especially amongst m...
Read full storyMini-Me, Vern Troyer Offers to Wed Kate Gosselin
The news that Kate Gosselin is shopping for a husband is generating a lot of buzz about Hollywood and several B-list actors are coming forward to help her in her quest. "I've even gotten a few proposals from women to become my life partner," says Kat...
Read full storyCambridge Congestion Charge nearer part 2
Further to the previous story on a massive expansion in traffic lights, Cambridge Council announced today the rejection of yet another really practical, sensible and logical idea to reduce congestion in the city. A spokeswoman said, "BubblyIan con...
Read full storyEnglish Muffins' Famed "Nooks and Crannies" a Danger to Consumers?
The Thomas' English Muffins we've all grown up with may be hazardous to our health, a new study shows. Dr. Eg Salád, a biologist at UCLA, claims his research shows "the Crannies, when consumed steadily over a period of time, are carcinogenic." "F...
Read full storyZookeeper proves age-old adage
Zoo keeper Friedrich Reiseldt fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more then a bushel of berries figs and prunes before the plugged up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Fred, nearly 46, was giving t...
Read full storyTop Secret Document Left in Cab Details Ianaire Hostile Takeover of Major Cruise Line!
The financial markets had their balls in a uproar today after yet another Top Secret document was left behind in a London Cab, apparently by a high ranking member of Ireland's High Flying but Low Frills, some would say Spartan Airline, Ianaire! Ac...
Read full storyCriminals to be bar-coded
Labour's desperate attempts to demonstrate that they will be tough on crime, if the electorate give them another chance after 13 years of disaster, moved a step closer. Labour party spokeswoman said,"We wanted to improve the efficiency of the Poli...
Read full storyArizona: "If You're Brown Don't Go To Town"
"If you're tan, stay in the van!" These kinds of words are being heard all over Arizona and elsewhere this week as Latinos consider their future in America. Is the new Arizona law indicative of their future in the USA? As Mariachi bands disbanded...
Read full storyObama racewhorse Audacity of Hope runs in Saturday's 2,000 Guineas
Newmarket - (WhoresWhisperers): The Red Ransom/Alien A colt is a best-priced 100/1 shot with internet bookies Aintgottaprayer.con for Saturday's renewal of the first Classic of the season. A six furlong workout this morning with stable companions...
Read full story'Wanna Be' Hilton Versus 'Has Been' Lohan Fight Scheduled
Somehow it's a slow news day when we're talking about Perez Hilton and Lindsay Lohan in the same sentence, but the weekend internet and press fight between the two has escalated into a commitment to face each other in the boxing ring. Accusations...
Read full storyYemen suicide bombing - Envoy okay
Government officials have confirmed that Ambassador Tim Torlot is safe and was not injured in the blast which today rocked the Yemen capital Sanaa. The only reported casualty was the suicide bomber himself who was reported to have been wearing a scho...
Read full storyPensioners Will Be Blamed For Global Warming
The far-right BNP have released claims that a future Lib-Dem, Labour, Conservative or UKIP government would seek to bolster claims for the existence of global warming by linking it to the growth in the number of pensioners. Speaking at the launch...
Read full storyThe Three Stooges return for TV debate finale
London - (Hustings): A classic reworking of the cult TV series pilot Jerks of All Trades will see the Three Stooges - a.k.a. Gordon Brown, David Cameron and Nick Clegg - give their last public performance this Thursday. The televised grand finale...
Read full storyDerek Acorah in library trouble
Internationally acclaimed psychic sensation, Derek Acorah was arrested yesterday outside his home in Scarisnrick, Southport. Acorah, sixty-two, has persistently ignored reminders from Southport library to return three overdue library books. In 200...
Read full storyWortham Loses Tournament but Dominates Local News
P.M. Wortham engaged the world's best Euchre players this past weekend in an epic charity card playing event. Though coming short on the overall points victory, Wortham's good looks and engaging personality were enough of a draw to be featured in th...
Read full storyBubbles the Chimp admits he wrote Michael Jackson's hits
With the dust finally settled over the death of Michael Jackson, his former chimpanzee, Bubbles, has come forward with the astonishing claim that it was he not Michael Jackson that had written most of Jackson's biggest hits. "Smooth Criminal was m...
Read full storyPope's itinerary to the UK marred by bad grammar
Pope Benedict XVI's visit to the UK has resulted in Scotland being beatified due to a grammatical error. The original itinerary stated that: "..the Pope would take in Birmingham as part of the planned beatification of Cardinal John Newman and Scot...
Read full storySeries 8: Get real, ash cloud attack
During last weeks UK Prime Minister electoral debate Gordon Browns message to Nick Clegg was a gritty 'get real' followed with a note of 'I deal with these situations every day'. These comments were widely regarded as a poke at the weaker kid we but...
Read full storyPaedophile priests - theological dilemma 'cracked'
Pope Benedict XVI announced today that senior scholars at the Vatican had 'cracked' the theological dilemma presented by paedophile priests. The dilemma exists because "Our lord, in his revelations to Moses, forgot to mention that sex with minors...
Read full storyFred Flinstone claimed Stonhenge was a drive in Movie Theatre
The diaries of Fred Flinstone, and his friend Barney Rubble, were found today in the remains of a small town called Bedrock. Remarkably the diaries were in good condition for their age and revealed an important insight into the lives of a caveman.
Read full storyDr Who to appear on Who Do You Think You Are
The new Dr Who, Matt Smith, is to appear on the television series Who Do You Think You Are, which is a genealogy programme that traces back peoples family tree which usually results in some surprising results. Former Dr Who David Tennant, was prev...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson believes Stephen Hawking is Right
Robert Pattinson, believes Stephen Hawking, is right we should not contact Aliens, as the outcome could lead to the destruction of the human race. Hawking speaking with his robotic voice reckons that Aliens coming to earth would be much the same a...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Turns Down An Offer To Go On A Date With Kathy Griffin
HOLLYWOOD - 16-year-old Justin Bieber (pronounced JUS-TIN BEE-Ber) has just stated that he received an email from Kathy Griffin, host of the cable reality show, My Life On The D-List. Bieber said that Ms. Griffin told him that she has completely b...
Read full storyKe$ha To Record The Selena Gomez Hit "I'm A Cutey And So's My Booty"
LOS ANGELES - Ke$ha, aka L.A.'s Glitter Girl has said that she will be recording the hit by Selena Gomez "I'm A Cutey And So's My Booty." Talk show host, American Idol judge, and overall lesbian fun guy Ellen DeGeneres has said about Ke$ha that sh...
Read full storyThe Lindsay Lohan - Perez Hilton Feud Is Heating Up Like Hell!
HOLLYWOOD - The Lindsay Lohan-Perez Hilton feud is starting to resemble Iceland's Eyjafjallajojull volcano. The LiLo-PerHi powder puff fracas started when Perez wrote an unflattering piece about LiLo's little sister, Ali, aka AliLo. The sidesad...
Read full storyRooney voted Shrek of the year
Wayne Rooney has been Shrek of the year by other actors at the Cannes Film Festival. The Manchester United striker, who has scored 34 goals this season, beat off competition from Didier Drogba, Carlos Tevez and Cesc Fabregas. Rooney, 24, said:...
Read full storyWoman Sheds 42 Pounds Doing Shopping Cart Cha-Cha
A new exercise craze is sweeping America by storm. It's not Pilates, it's not aerobics, and it's not tai chi or any number of other workout routines already heard of. This one is based on getting up on your feet, driving the mini-van to the nearest s...
Read full storyMike Tyson Has Been Banned From Mickey Mouse Land For Reportedly Biting Off One Of Minnie Mouse's Ears
ANAHEIM, California - Reports coming out of Mickey Mouse Land are that former world champion heavyweight boxer Mike Tyson has been banned permanently from the theme park. The word out of the Left Coast amusement park is that Tyson was walking down...
Read full storyTwinkie Classified as a Vegetable; School Boards Rejoice
The FDA announced this week that Twinkie, a popular food item distributed by Hostess and owned by Texas-based Hostess, is now classified as a vegetable. The Twinkie as a Vegetable referendum refers to a United States Department of Agriculture (U...
Read full storyThe All-Girl Band 'The Saturdays' To Perform At Buckingham Palace For The Queen
LONDON - Mollie King and Una Healy, singers with the British all-girl band The Saturdays were thrilled to learn that they will be performing a command performance for the queen mother herself Elizabeth II. The Saturdays first hit single entitled "...
Read full storyTia "Fire Eater" Brodie, of Britain's Got Talent and Ashley Cole Seen Shopping in Soho For a Fire Extinguisher
LONDON - One of the most famous 'Fire Performers' in history, Tia Brodie, was seen shopping hand in hand with none other than Ashley Cole, estranged husband of Cheryl Cole, BFF of Derek Hough. The couple was out and about the day after Brodie had...
Read full storyMollie King of The All-Girl Band 'The Saturdays' Has Been Secretly Texting Russell Brand
PIMLICO, England - Mollie King, singer with The Saturday's, has reportedly been secretly texting Russell Brand. The 22-year-old's house maid, identified as Virginia Powervox, stated that Mollie has been infatuated with Brand ever since she saw him...
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