Written by P.M. Wortham

Monday, 26 April 2010

image for Wortham Loses Tournament but Dominates Local News
Missing out on the Euchre Championship Cup, Wortham settled for press attention.

P.M. Wortham engaged the world's best Euchre players this past weekend in an epic charity card playing event. Though coming short on the overall points victory, Wortham's good looks and engaging personality were enough of a draw to be featured in the evening news report.

With representatives from the Book of World Records looking on, and nearly a thousand Euchre players lost in the heat of battle, Wortham jumped out to an early lead on points. As the tournament wore on, Wortham became cursed with bad cards and fell just slightly behind the leaders, where he stayed the rest of the evening.

Still, the attractiveness and stature of the man drew press attention. Interviewed and later featured during play, Wortham was also seen shaking his partner's hand after a key win. Detroit's Channel 7 Action News was on hand to capture the event, as well as the mystery of the tall, salt and pepper haired man in black, with the charm and presence of royalty.

Wortham offered the reporter a fictitious name and address in order to protect his nom de plume and to prevent the unwanted attention he might receive as a world class euchre player. Asked what he did for a living by the reporter, the man in black only replied, "I serve the literary needs of the public", to which the reporter replied, "Huh?".

By Sunday, Warhol's 15 minutes wore off as easily and quickly as soap does in a properly pH balanced shower. The identity of the man, the myth and the legend remained a mystery, while people who had seen the Saturday evening news were left wanting. Wortham, whoever he really is, returned to active duty the following Monday, while rare images of the tall man in black were thankfully brief and mercifully lost in the digital abyss.

And in closing a tribute is offered to his Spoof mentor;

"More as we get it."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Cards

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