LONDON - One of the most famous 'Fire Performers' in history, Tia Brodie, was seen shopping hand in hand with none other than Ashley Cole, estranged husband of Cheryl Cole, BFF of Derek Hough.
The couple was out and about the day after Brodie had impressed Britain's Got Talent judges Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan with her fire eating song and dance routine.
Cole and Brodie, whom the British media has pegged 'CoBro' appeared to be having a good time as they walked along Monty Python Boulevard, giggling, chuckling, and flicking Tia's Bic lighter.
Tia, which is Spanish for 'Aunt,' was asked how it felt to suddenly be a celebrity and have people stopping her to ask for her autograph, to chat with her, and to ask her to please light their cigarettes, or in two cases their firecrackers.
Brodie, a native of Medway, said that she feels like London singer Amy Winehouse, except without the 90 or so blitherin' tattoos, the horrendously awful teeth, and the hairdo that looks like she combed it with a hand grenade.
Ashley was asked if he was feeling better since having his abso-bloody-lutely womanizing arse dumped by his fed up wife Chezza.
Cole answered that yes he was feeling better and that he really liked finally being with a woman who did not care how many birds (chicks) he had kissed, felt up, or bonked.
Tia raised her eyebrows and quickly noted for him not to think for even one mother effen second that she does not care.
She then stated that she has already made it perfectly clear to the Chelsea footballer that if he dares to place his pecker in the receptacle of some little cutey she will take out the mini-torch she uses in her fire eating act and she will proceed to barbecue his wiggly worm (willy) faster than he can yell out "Tia don't!!!"
SIDENOTE: Ashley was asked if it is true that Tia Brodie has a burn scar on her G-spot. He grinned like the Coventry cat that swallowed the Chiswick canary and nodded his head saying, "Yes mate, it be true dat Tia's G-spot duzav a bit of a burn scar onnit it duz but I must say dat it tis a luvvly jubbly scar it tis."
