With the dust finally settled over the death of Michael Jackson, his former chimpanzee, Bubbles, has come forward with the astonishing claim that it was he not Michael Jackson that had written most of Jackson's biggest hits.
"Smooth Criminal was my work," said the chimpanzee at a press conference outside Neverland, dressed in a natty, three piece, sparkly silver suit. "As was Bad, Earth Story and Black and White. I also had my prehensile toes in Billie Jean and Beat It. I was particularly impressed with the backing track that I put together for Dirty Diana. However, I did not participate at all in Thriller, as this was written by some chap in Cleethorpes, UK."
Bubbles went onto add: "This news is in no way an attempt to take the massive royalties that are accruing with the worldwide sales of these songs increasing daily; nor would I attempt to wrest control of the Jackson estate from his family to benefit my current handler, Charlie at Las Vegas zoo."
There was stunned silence at this news. However, the reporters returned to their newspapers with the story that Michael Jackson's chimpanzee was wearing a silver suit and is currently housed at Las Vegas Zoo.