Derek Acorah in library trouble

Funny story written by IainB

Monday, 26 April 2010

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Artists impression of Acorah cleaning

Internationally acclaimed psychic sensation, Derek Acorah was arrested yesterday outside his home in Scarisnrick, Southport.

Acorah, sixty-two, has persistently ignored reminders from Southport library to return three overdue library books. In 2007 he took out Cold Reading by Ian Stewart, Tricks of the Mind by Derren Brown and his own book The Psychic World of Derek Acorah.

"It has got beyond a bit of a joke," said head librarian, Dusty Bucks. "We started sending him reminders back in 2007, and have since sent him forty reminders. The time has come for action. I don't care how famous he is, he can't take books out of my library and not return them, so we've got the police involved."

Detective Inspector Phil Inns, normally in charge of the serious fraud, murder and traffic violations division is heading up the investigation.

"If you'll excuse the pun, this one seems like a rather open and closed case," he said outside Southport Magistrates court. "Acorah is charged with theft of three books from Southport library. If found guilty, he will be sentenced to at least three weeks community service cleaning the library floors."

Many people are agreed; Acorah should have seen that one coming.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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