Cold Turkey-R-Us clinic says Boyle has a hangover

Funny story written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 2 June 2009

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Boyle: panic attack after losing her stash?

London - (Britain's Git Talent Mess): Shrinks at a rehab clinic where Susan Boyle is detoxing from months of celebrity hype said today she had suffered a panic attack after mislaying the remains of her cocaine stash after the show's grand finale.

Boyle, 69, had been acting oddly, exposing her flesh and claiming she had a recording contract when TV executives were forced to evict her from a grace-and-favor hotel suite.

She then spent her first night in a padded cell where psych nurses said she tried bribing them to score her some blow before crashing out, high on largactil.

Amanda Holden is a genuinely lovely talented professional.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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