Has Britain really Got Talent?

Funny story written by EXECUTIVE

Tuesday, 2 June 2009

So - the "Boyle Train " has been derailed - the wheels have fallen off, and with a last puff of screeching brakes the buffers loomed up out of the mist of missed opportunity.

The "little village in Scotland" has taken down the bunting - tea shop owners have cancelled the extra tables & chairs and the blue "Susan Boyle lived here" plaque lies unfinished in some council filing cabinet.

So - what went wrong ?. Well first we need to look at the whole scenario of "Britains got (very little) Talent.". and what it really does. Basically - it makes money !!

The weird, odd, deranged and deluded who make up the panel of judges stare blankly at a stage populated by societies oddballs - jugglers who cannot juggle, dancers with no co-ordination, rappers wrapped up in themselves and parent propelled children. Why does this intrigue us so ? - well the sight of the guitar player who had the Union Jack flag on his instrument lighting up to his poorly played chords should give us a clue - we are all intrigued by no-hopers (you reading this is a good example - no "main stream" newspaper would touch my poor writing skills with a barge pole).

Every year thousands stand patiently in line awaiting the chance to humiliate themselves - and we never seem to tire of watching them. Hughie Green (who ?) is not so much as turning in his grave but spinning like a turbo-charged top - considering the way that television and now the computer age has thrust the spotlight upon the most unlikely of wannabees. Did the modern age start with Big Brother or was it even earlier when the first snivelling kid was given a halfcrown (twelve pence) to appear on Logie Bairds televisor apparatus in 1927 ?

Who knows or cares - but now we have You Tube - My Space - and a host of other ways for any member of the public who has ten pounds to "invest" in a webcam to present themselves and their dubious talents (nose music ?) to a potentially worldwide audience.

I guess the ultimate horror show would be hosted by Kieth Chegwin and Debbie McGee with Derek Acora contacting long dead comedians to "raise a laff" -

Believe me - it could happen.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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