Fr. Francois Dubois, S.J. to be elevated to Monsignor by President Obama

Funny story written by Frankie The J

Saturday, 15 August 2009

image for Fr. Francois Dubois, S.J. to be elevated to Monsignor by President Obama
Green Acres, the ancestorial home of the Dubois

WASHINGTON, DC - The Vatican announced today that Jesuit Priest Fr. François Dubois is to be elevated to the office of Monsignor, Sunday, in a White House ceremony presided over by President Barack Obama.

This is an obvious break in Roman Catholic tradition, allowing a non-Catholic (and maybe even a non-Christian [Muslim?]) to elevate a Roman Catholic priest to Monsignor, a duty heretofore always performed by the diocesan bishop.

Georgetown University's Fr. Damien Karras, S.J., told, "We Jesuits have always worked somewhat outside the mainstream of the Church; but this is quite remarkable."

"In fact, it was my belief that Fr. Dubois had been defrocked for sexual irregularities," the one-time exorcist said.

Another well respected Jesuit scholar, Fr. Pee Wee Reese, took time away from his daily bicycle ride to talk with's Religion Editor, Smurfette. Fr. Reese told Ms. Smurfette (who some say was the very woman with whom Fr. Francois was found naked inside the confessional at Holy Mother of God Cathedral), "I suppose that it is appropriate that the leader of the new American Catholic (or universal) Church of Over Stimulation should be the one to consecrate Fr. Dubois as Monsignor. Why the fuck not!"

The 58-year-old Dubois is currently a correspondent for He has been criticized by many Roman Catholics for his unwavering dedication to fornication education.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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