Toledo, Ohio - An angry crowd of plumbers, gun owners, and other supporters marched through the streets of downtown Toledo, Saturday, led by anti-tax advocate, Joe the Plumber. They brandished a wide array of pipe-wrenches, plumbing snakes, as well as personal arsenals of rifles and hand guns, and carried signs decrying President Obama's Comprehensive Healthcare plan.
Professor of Political Science Barney Hampton observed "Every authentic revolution in history has been an uprising of the poor and downtrodden against their oppressors. When the rich want to foment a revolution, they hire poor people to do the job."
"The reason we don't have violent revolutions in America, is because we have elections. In fact we just had our revolution. It was called the 2008 election, in which Barack Obama mobilized hundreds of thousands of lower income voters, who had never voted before....and won by a landslide."
"Now we learn the insurance companies have been spending $2 million per day, to foment opposition to Obama's healthcare proposals," Professor Hampton continued. "The ideological dittoheads, of the Lunatic Right, are a ready-made group of people who will believe anything they are told by their Spin Meisters.... as long as its completely outrageous."
"If you belief Barack Obama is a Moslem (at the same time that you criticize him for spending 20 years attending a liberal Christian Church)....if you believe Obama doesn't have an American birth certificate.......If you believe Obama is another Adolph Hitler (in spite of the fact that he has been the most eloquent spokesman for non-partisanship, and toleration in American History)...Then, of course you will believe that Obama's health plan (which emphasizes your right to keep your current health insurance...or choose whatever health insurance you want) will result in the government euthanizing your grandmother."
"The right-wingers" Professor Hampton explained, "are trying to scare us into thinking that in a government-run healthcare system, government bureaucrats will systematically deny us the medical treatments we need (even though Americans have been very happy with both Medicare and Social Security). However, the actuality, which every American is aware of, is that it is the health insurance executives who have systematically denied Americans the medical treatments they have paid for with their insurance payments. Insurance companies skim as much money off the top, as they possibly can, without adding anything, by systematically reducing treatment and quality of care."
"This is where the term 'Healthcare Minimization Organization' (HMO) comes from," Professor Hampton explained.
"Whats wrong with offering a choice in healthcare providers?" Professor Hampton asked.
He continued to outline the three pillars of Obama's health plan:
"(I) It must lower overall costs to the government, tax-payers, and individual recipients
(II) It must allow choice of any health plan the individual wants
(III)It must ensure quality and affordable healthcare for all Americans"
"Meanwhile, society's dregs and dunderheads are On the March, engaged in a campaign of disinformation, and trying to prevent American's from having a Choice in healthcare providers....or in many cases, having any health coverage at all." Professor Hampton concluded.
Editors note: Evan Essence received his Masters Degree in Journalism (2003), and his PhD in Political Science (2004) from House-of-Spam Internet Marketing
