Pheasant Plucker's Son Lashes Out

Written by Skoob1999

Saturday, 15 August 2009

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Get Plucked!

Chartered Accountant, Ellsworth Biggins 39 of Virginia Water, Surrey today reacted angrily to accusations from Malicious sources which had branded him as a 'Pheasant Plucker'.

"I am not a pheasant plucker, I am a chartered accountant," Biggins told assembled journalists at the Royal Standard pub on Frimley Road in nearby Camberley. "It's true that my father was an occasional pheasant plucker, and it's true that I am my father's son. But I am not, nor have I ever been a pheasant plucker. I am a chartered accountant. I did eat pheasant occasionally - usually in a game soup - but I never plucked it."

Locals however remain skeptical. Newsagent Ron Glumm told us:

"This is a whitewash. He's admitted that his father was a pheasant plucker, and as far as I'm concerned, it's a case of like father, like son. If that man isn't a pheasant plucker, well, I'll eat my fedora."

Award winning journalist, Luke Sharp, looked bored by the whole thing. He told us:

"It's the silly season. The no-news season. Quite frankly I don't give a toss whether or not Biggins is a pheasant plucker. Or his father."

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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