New Discovery Of Aliens
Daniel Kilduff, a student from the small town of Ashby, discovered an extra-terrestrial MARS bar in the early hours of yesterday night.
Read full storyCBI suggests bonus scheme for job botchers should be available to all British workers
Taking the lead from Network Rail management, the CBI have suggested that all British companies should introduce special bonus schemes for poor and shoddy workmanship.
Read full storyFrench Garrison surrenders to group of Norwegian school children
There were scenes of pandemonium and chaos outside Disneyland last night when a garrison of French soldiers stationed there surrendered to a coach-load of Norwegian school children on their way back from seeing Mickey Mouse and his friends.
Read full storyMclaren Appointed As Argie Boss
Total twat, Steve Mclaren, has declared his love for Argentina, as a result of this, the Argentinian FA have appointed the prick as manager.
Read full storyBob Geldof appeals for more publicity
Bob Geldof today forgot about Ethiopia, and Sudan, and Zimbabwe, and asked the world to give him more publicity.
Read full storyClinton haggling to get her money back
Off-the-Wall St, NYC - (Pathetic Mess): Market watchers beware. Some megabux US energy speculators have come out in a rash with the news today that Hillary Rodham Clinton wants her money back, all eleven and a half million dollars in mortgages, cred...
Read full storyHenry Allingham rejoins RAF at 112
With concern that the British Armed forces are becoming rapidly depleted, Mr Henry Allingham has decided to do his bit for Queen & Country by re-enlisting for active service in the Royal Air Force.
Read full storyPast 8 Years 'A Gag', Bush Admits
Washington, D.C. - George W. Bush disclosed yesterday that his entire presidency was part of an elaborate "gag" concocted by himself and Vice President Al Gore that "just got out of control".
Read full storyTeen Uses Complete Words When Texting
Racine, WI - In what appears to be a first since cell phone services began offering a 'texting' feature, a teenager has been found to have been sending messages composed of complete English words and sentences.
Read full storyKids Dig Hole All The Way To China
Lancaster PA -- Seismologists from the University of Pennsylvania discovered the world's deepest hole today in Lancaster. The hole was dug in a sandbox by two boys playing with a plastic shovel. The hole is one foot wide and 18,000 miles long. It...
Read full storyCelts Chase Huntelaar
Dutch International striker Klaas Jan Huntelaar is set to complete a sensational move to Glasgow giants Celtic.
Read full storyHillary Clinton Suspends Campaign With A Nod To Lou Costello
(Washington, D.C.) Senator Hillary Clinton, who will tell anyone who will listen and even those who won't that she won the popular primary vote, confirmed she will suspend her campaign for President Saturday, "but I didn'...
Read full storyHillary to Supporters: Submit or Piss Off
(HADES, Arkansas) - Following her disastrous failed effort to sabotage the Democratic party's chances in the upcoming General Election, Hillary Clinton has directed her campaign to start using the internet to try and screw things ups.
Read full storyCatnip Paste Leads to First Cat-Dog Birth
The first cat-dog hybrid was born this week in the U.S, inciting anger from anti-interspecialists. Oscar, a four year old Persian-Siamese crossbreed successfully impregnated Marlee, a four year old Saint Bernard.
Read full storySenator Clinton Becomes a Republican
Washington DC: Senator Hillary Clinton (D) NY announced today that she was becoming a Republican.
Read full storyJustin Lee Collins Charged With Affray After Attack On Hull City Fan
Justin Lee Collins, the 'lifelong' Bristol City supporter and co-host of Channel 4's The Friday Night Project, has been charged with affray by police, after he was involved in an ugly inc...
Read full storyBeggar is given country-wide Asbo
A man has been given an anti-social behaviour order (ASBO) banning him from begging anywhere in England and Wales and Scotland.
Read full storyUnique Edinburgh Flat Opens To Public
Prince Charles is to officially open an Edinburgh council flat he saved for the public.
Read full storyHampstead luvvies gobsmacked at nuke bomb discovery
London - (Cash-for-Honors Mess): Residents of a wealthy North London enclave are frantic following the discovery of an unexploded nuclear device in safe deposit vaults owned by business pals of Lord Levy.
Read full storyBrown in the Pink
LONDON: Advisors to Gordon Brown have suggested the Prime Minister should take to wearing pink suits and platform heels in an attempt to raise his public profile.
Read full storyEx Hull City Owner favourite for award
Bookmakers are making Derby County CEO and Former Hull City owner clear favourites in both the club owner's and big time Charlies categories of this year's prestigious WPFA dickhead of the year awards.
Read full storyVictorians were on Mars
Mars Lander's robotic arm has uncovered yet more evidence that the Victorians successfully established a camp on the red planet. NASA had earlier hinted that magnified images from the Mars Orbiter appeared to show the letters 'ADE IN BIRMING...
Read full storyArsenal sign Steptoe and Son
After much speculation relating to the transfer of Samir Nasri, Ben Arfa and even rumours of David Villa coming to Arsenal, Arsene Wenger has finally confirmed Albert and Harold Steptoe as his first big name(s) signing of the summer.
Read full storyHull City Already Faring Well In Premiership
Hull City, the side newly-promoted to the Premier League after a thrilling win against West Country oiks Bristol City, are faring well in their first season in the top flight, and are currently in 8th position.
Read full storyBush Administration Hides US Dead from Iraq and Afghanistan
The New York Times Book Review revealed this week that the Bush administration has tried to hide more war casualties and fatalities than any US administration in history.
Read full storyBillius Clintonensis Proposes Roman Triumvrate
Dressed in a pure white toga, the former US President now known as Billius Clintonensis proposed to the American public a new model of leadership.
Read full storyYves Saint Laurent: The Fashion Corpse of 2008
The Revolutionary Fashionista of the late 20th Century Yves Saint Laurent became biologically out of style this week. The wake and funeral however set the newest, latest trends for 21st century styles.
Read full storyJenna Bush achieves first orgasm
Jenna Bush, the 27-year-old daughter to President George W Bush, excitedly told family and friends that she achieved her first orgasm last night while having sexual relations with her new husband, 30-year-old University of Virginia Graduate student H...
Read full storyHull City capture Ronaldo - Tiger pattern boots ordered
Want away genius and new George Best, Cristiano Ronaldo has ordered some natty little tiger patterned boots, some with cuban heels some not so. The little wing maestro is yet to order similar boots for playing football in as doubts began to arise ove...
Read full storySir Alex unsure over Bentley switch
Reports coming in from Manchester indicate that united supremo Sir Alex Ferguson is thinking of getting a new car possibly a Bentley.
Read full storyCher older than the Universe
Recent carbon dating on aged singer Cher has revealed that she is actually over 5 million years old!...
Read full storySteve McClaren poised to become new Hull manager
Former England boss and ex Hull City midfield stalwart Steve "Ashby" Mclaren was today confirmed as the shop manager of Global Brands Globally's latest retail outlet, situated in the brand new recently opened state of the art St Stephen...
Read full storySenator Clinton Offered New Job
St. Louis MO: The Democratic presidential primary elections are finally over, with the presumptive Democratic nominee being Senator Barack Obama. Senator Hillary Clinton is expected to possibly, perhaps, maybe, could be announce that she has finally...
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