Hillary to Supporters: Submit or Piss Off

Funny story written by Schmoker

Friday, 6 June 2008

image for Hillary to Supporters: Submit or Piss Off
Clinton Attorney Louis Cypher watches as two Clinton staffers debate the merits of a new web site design

(HADES, Arkansas) - Following her disastrous failed effort to sabotage the Democratic party's chances in the upcoming General Election, Hillary Clinton has directed her campaign to start using the internet to try and screw things ups.

After her novel "concession" speech following the final Democratic primaries this past Tuesday evening, during which the Senator implored people to visit her web site so they could "tell me what you think I should do," Senator Clinton then instructed her staff to "gin things up" so that only those wishing to support her new Menstrual Politics Policy actually have a voice.

A quick visit to Clinton's web site, Hillary Clinton For President Or Die, shows that the only method for reacting to the Senator's plea for advice is to fill in a pop up box that says, "Stand With Hillary Today and Send Your Message of Support," and then you must click "Submit."

"We know that most, if not all, of the people in the country want Senator Clinton to keep fighting, to the death if need be," said Clinton lawyer Louis Cypher. "We didn't want the six or seven people who are against her to have an option to say something negative and then send it in 8 or 9 million times like some deranged Sanjya voter from American Idol."

As for the use of the word 'submit' rather than something more generic like 'send' or 'comment'?

"Submission is good for the soul," said Cypher. "People need to get used to the idea that they will have to submit to Hillary's will once Armageddon comes."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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