Bob Geldof appeals for more publicity

Written by matwil

Friday, 6 June 2008

image for Bob Geldof appeals for more publicity
Saint Bob the Second

Bob Geldof today forgot about Ethiopia, and Sudan, and Zimbabwe, and asked the world to give him more publicity.

Speaking from his London home, Sir Bob said: 'The situation has become desperate. I can't make records any more, I don't live in my own country, my family is no longer in all the women's magazine stories, I need your publicity now!'

And borrowing a wig from a passing old English sheep dog he continued: 'I don't care if Liveaid achieved nothing! Except making hasbeen pop stars richer. I don't care if INXS were a thousand time better than the Boomtown Rats. Just get on the phone, and give me publicity now!'

When asked how Liveaid had achieved nothing, he said: 'Millions were donated to us in Britain ' - Mr. Geldof isn't British - 'and sent to Africa, but then the Government simply cut aid to Africa by the exact same amount. But I need regular publicity about starvation, to keep my ego well-fed.'

And when questioned how a former pop star could understand the intricate political and economical situation in an African country, he said: 'I don't like Fridays.'

Mr. Geldof's plight will be debated by the United Nations later this week, but the BBC has already given donations of publicity to him today. But one of his daughters, Grapefruit Inkspot Peanutbutterandjam Geldof, said: 'Oh shut up, Dad! And get a haircut!'

Van Morrison is 98 today.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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