Pope Benedict XVI has issued a statement saying that Catholics are much better than Protestants. The former Nazi-youth pontiff went on to say that Protestants have rubbish masses and crappy-looking churches.
"It's disgraceful", said one protestant reverend, "their churches are just as crappy as ours!"
The Pope says that 2009 is going to be the Catholic Churches best year yet as his organization have planned several major developments in the area of altar boy production and priest output.
"Our lot are on track to create 5,000 fully qualified altar boys per day, every day. We can ship a priest to over 180 countries at short notice within a 3-day period", said a Vatican spokesperson, who naturally was a man, "at that rate we'll colonize the world by 2020. Just like the old days".
In the religious league table the Catholic Church is just below Hinduism in the popularity charts but the Vatican knows how to make the top grade.
"More gods. Hindu's have thousands of them. Our answer to is to fast-track all the saints to God status. Saint Patrick will become God Patrick. Santa Claus will become God Claus. We'll need to upgrade Jesus a bit. Turn him into an Emperor maybe," added the excited Vatican spokesman as he stroked a white cat in his lap.
