Jeremy Clarkson Ordered To Hand Out Back Copies Of Viz To Public

Funny story written by Phil Edgar's Bones

Tuesday, 9 December 2008

image for Jeremy Clarkson Ordered To Hand Out Back Copies Of Viz To Public
"Clarkson, stop getting your jokes out of comics and mags" say courts!

Over-paid, unfunny, acromegaly sufferer, Jeremy Clarkson, has been ordered by a court, to hand out back copies of Viz.

Clarkson who is innately unfunny, has trawled through the smutty comic over the past twenty years, repeating the jokes in a mock contemporanaeous manner.

In his latest stunt he repeated a joke concerning lorry drivers, being serial killers, TWENTY YEARS after he originally read it in Viz.

The courts have decided that Clarkson is now a drain on the nations resources, and it would be cheaper if he handed out his precious collection of Viz's to the public, cutting him out as the middleman.

Clarkson looked tearful and hideously grotesque as he left the court, but was pleased the judge allowed him to hang on to twenty boxes of MAD magazine and six dozen copies of Twinkle comc for little girls.

Bernie Finklestein, Mr Clarkson's lawyer said "It was important that he hung onto some of his comics, as he would be devoid of material for his 'ACT'. I am still trying to secure a deal for him to keep his Beano and Dandy comics, but I have lost all hope of him keeping twenty boxes of 'Tracy Beakers World' and six dozen 'Whizzer and Chips'."

The Watchdog for good TV and real ale (Bollocom) said "Jeremy Clarkson is simply the best and doesn't do all this shit for attention, you know!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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