Andy Murray to be the new face of Marks and Spencer
Marks and Spencer last night confirmed that it had signed up British tennis sensation, Andy Murray, to be the new face of their Urchin Chic collection due to be launched next month. A spokesperson exclusively told The Spoof: "Andy will add an ed...
Read full storyACLU continued attacks on hook-up methods of closeted self-hating conservative homosexuals must end
Days after Senator Craig (R) Idaho, pleaded guilty to charges "by accident", the ACLU has come out of the proverbial liberal closet with a rebuke of internet and public bathroom stings.
Read full storyKylie mooted as Madonna demands rival Russian spaceport modelled on her clitoris
Kazakhstan - (Ass Mess & ReuterUs): Madonna is pissed that Richard Branson's proposed Virgin InterGalactic Sapceport in Upham, New Mexico has been architecturally designed around Britney Spears's vagina.
Read full storyGoogle Earth together with its new flight simulator joins the search for missing millionaire pilot Steve Fossett
Bishop, California - Millions of people are expected to join the search for Fossett right from the comfort of their homes, offices, Internet cafes and even laptops using Google's Earth flight simulator. The new software is expected to help in the...
Read full storyBritish media launches massive attack on Portugal over McCanns
The tiny country of Portugal continued to suffer massive bombardment from the British media, incensed at the way in which British couple Gerry and Kate McCann are being treated by the police and news...
Read full storySharon Stone dates the Naked Cowboy
"Basic Instinct" naughty lady Sharon Stone has hooked up with a popular New York attraction. "I don't know how we never met before", beamed the sultry star, "he's my ide...
Read full storyJames Dean's hands used as door stop
The severed hands of deceased movie star James Dean, were being using as a door stop in an Arizona diner.
Read full storyDoctor Phil scales the Empire State building while naked
TV advice guy Doctor Phil was captured by New York Police Department officers on Saturday while scaling the Empire State building completely nude.
Read full storyCavemen move into Jennifer Aniston's V2 rocket display
Jennifer Aniston has some unwelcome visitors in her back garden. A group of Neolithic cavemen have set up home in Aniston's antique World War II German V2 rocket collection.
Read full storyDavid Blaine plans next magical stunt
Street magician David Blaine has announced his latest daring stunt.
Read full storyJoan Rivers stretches her face to Antarctica in aid of T.W.A.T.S
Occasionally funny lady Joan Rivers has stretched her face all the way from New York to the ice laden continent Antarctica.
Read full storyLocal Six year old proclaims girls "Yucky"
Evan Trotter, a local six year old boy recently called a press conference at the sand box to denounce young human females as "yucky". His comments have outraged local feminists.
Read full storyCraig (REPUBLICAN Senator) Joins Village People Band
Washington (IP) - Senator Jeff Craig has joined the disco band, The Village People, and will begin touring with them immediately. Craig taught disco dancing for years in Boise, Idaho which is a little known fact to most persons.
Read full storyMan Vs Wild Episode Filmed in Lake Okeechobee
Lake Okeechobee, Florida (IP) - Man Vs Wild episode Number 47 is being filmed near Omakasassa Island on Lake Okeechobee. The island is famous for the giant fresh water octopus which inhabit the deep waters around the island.
Read full storySurvivorman Rides Giant Turtle to Safety
Lake Okeechobee, Florida (IP) - Survivor man Les Stroud jumped on the back of a 20 foot wide cooter turtle and rode it to safety in Lake Okeechobee last night. He had been filming a Survivorman episode on the west set of the lake near Indian Prairie...
Read full storyA gestating Paris Hilton "everybody's ultimate nightmare": poll
Beverly Hills, California - (Ass Mess & ReUterus): A pregnant Paris Hilton is most people's ultimate nightmare according to a poll of what would most frighten reality-tv watchers today.
Read full storyHillary fun raiser busted in Colorado
Grand Junction, Colorado -(Disaster Press): One of Hillary Clinton's top financial backers has been busted as a bail-bond fugitive from justice after sickening on an Amtrak trip.
Read full storyBritney Spears' Vagina To Make Comeback
Britney Spears, that well-known diva of the pop world, is to come out of retirement, and has said that her vagina will be at the forefront of her new act.
Read full storyItalian deforestation fears as redwoods felled for Pavarotti coffin
Modena, Italy - (Ass Mess): Italian Forestry Commission officials have voiced their eco-hazard fears amid reports that an entire Northern Italy plantation of Sequoiadendron giganteum had to be felled to accommodate the remains of fabled ope...
Read full storyDiana-style PR campaign made Portuguese cops suspicious
Portimao, Portugal - (Disaster Press): Police investigating the May 3rd disappearance of little Maddie have said that the McCann parents' frenzied "Diana-style PR campaign" of making themselves the focus of attention made them suspiciou...
Read full storyThousands turn up for Oprah, find it's Pavarotti
Thousands of opera fans today turned out to grieve for the loss of their heavyweight champion, Luciano Pavarotti, 71, who died yesterday. The singer, who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last year, died at his home in the Italian city of Modena.
Read full storyOsama Bin Laden Releases Business Video
It's an announcement of the grand opening of a men's hair-care salon in the back room of his cave.
Read full storyYet Another Republican In Men's Room Scandal
Aspiring political candidate Warren Redlich was allegedly seen masturbating in a men's room at the Tailgate Tavern in Guilderland, NY, according to an undercover policeman who arrested Redlich.
Read full storyThe Top 5 Greatest Rhyming Greetings/Questions Ever
We're always trying to be original and cool while greeting our friends and coworkers and we've realized that the common "Hello" just doesn't cut it anymore. Hello isn't cool and it certainly isn't original. Over a billion people use that old rag everyday in every language. So here are few greetings that will definitely earn you some street cred out there in the jungle...
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