Marks and Spencer last night confirmed that it had signed up British tennis sensation, Andy Murray, to be the new face of their Urchin Chic collection due to be launched next month. A spokesperson exclusively told The Spoof: "Andy will add an edgy, unpredictable dimension. A bit of a challenge, but I'm sure we're up to it."
Although unconfirmed, it is believed that Murray returned to Britain just before the US Open in order to receive some essential modelling tips from his stunning girlfriend, Kim Sears, which clinched the deal.
It is a move which his trainer, Brad Gilbert, thinks will help his young charge: "I realised Junior was taking my mantra 'winning ugly' too literally. He's no number one in the pretty-boy stakes, but I mean, you know, I have to look at his freaking grim face more than most, and a bit of a makeover would be big props."
Murray's personal psychologist, Roberto Forzoni, agrees: "Andy feels that Jamie's sartorial style is yet another thing his brother does better than him. So it would help him to confront this demon whilst working on all those already documented in my bulging file on the lad."
Gavin Marks, M & S Marketing chief enthused: "We are excited. Andy has agreed not to cut his hair until next March. I'm seeing him as a William Wallace figure, albeit a lot skinnier with a morose, anguished demeanour - someone who looks like he could do with a good meal of square sausage on a bun. As regards the collection, you'll have to wait for its launch, but it'll not disappoint those anxious to see Murray out of his shorts."
Neither Murray nor his agent, Patrizio Apey, was available for comment. But it is seen as a shrewd move to make the feisty British number one more acceptable to the M & S clad folk in the shires who are currently mourning the impending retirement of Tiger Tim.
