ACLU continued attacks on hook-up methods of closeted self-hating conservative homosexuals must end

Funny story written by rljon

Friday, 7 September 2007


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Days after Senator Craig (R) Idaho, pleaded guilty to charges "by accident", the ACLU has come out of the proverbial liberal closet with a rebuke of internet and public bathroom stings.

Spokesperson Williams of the ACLU states "Sgt Karsenia posing as undercover went into bathroom stall for not the intention to make any type of bowl movement, we know this because the god fearing senator had his ear up against the stall door. This constitutes entrapment in mine and the Senators opinion."

According to the report, Karsnea at approx 12:13 the senator entered the restrooms pees, and then two minute later he entered adjoining stall layed his bag down in front of stall for privacy reasons tap foot heard response rub up against the officers foot waved his hand under into the officers stall and peered at him through stall crack.

At 12:19 the time of the arrest the officer had no clue who Davis was until Davis eventually told him.

Craig was also in hot water back in '82 after male interns stated about 10-15 congressman accused them of trying to have sex with them. During this scandal with no one paying any attention to him and out of the blue he gave a defiant statement publicly denying he was gay.

The Senator has since denied accusations tapes of Karsnea's interview reveal that the Davis feel some accidental coincidences and his fuzzy memory and eagerness to get on with his straight life is why this whole event happened.

Regardless say the ACLU rep "The attack on politicians e-mail and Instant message activities has been on-going and has forced many straight republicans into the airports and truck stop restroom for there anonymous sex with teens and male prostitutes where the young boys may not be clean, they may not even be young and worst they may not be the next generation of conservatives minds, the traditional balls of clay these Republican men of power would mold in the rest stops and hotel rooms."

The sharp rise in anonymous gay sex in the Republican party coincides with the rise of the principles of social conservatism, faith based politics that are grounded in Christian fundamentals, which surfaced in the late 70's.

The former GOP state rep. and member of various Neo-Con think-tanks Jerry further elaborates: "These are tried and true rites of passage, stess relieving methods as well as sacred republican rituals." He speaks further on the impact of these rituals in molding the current GOP "These rituals manifested by the sharp points of powerful men within the social conservative movement, they've clawed and scratched from the bottom and the top and pushed hard to thrust their strict and hard family values into the guts of the GOP and after years of rough give and take, and some blowback they continue to slide themselves in and out of the back bone of republican politics going strong for decades.

"They ride a slippery slope but I can tell you from experience if they see a unfilled slot or hole in the GOP or in the lives of the male citizens they represent their steadfast and unflinching in filling any type of hole and their firm grip and proper positioning not only break-in new members. This system has been producing top conservatives including top GOP strategist and life long southern conservative Karl Rove he's come along way from the young republican all nighters and lock-ins that has inspired many male coeds, his own stints as an intern of one sort or another he's showed how paying your dues, not only leads to new experience it prepares you for the world of high stakes republican diplomacy and the confidential closed door conservative mens round table discussions and think tanks that operate like clockwork."

Of course this current scandal bring back memories of the costly Mark Foley scandal of last year, revealing that between '95-'05 he had been soliciting young eager pages (interns) via e-mail and Instant message. The former GOP policymaker goes on. "Mr. Foley's civil rights were trampled over, who gives the government the right to say whats inappropriate when powerful fun are soliciting and flirting with these impressionable teens, the bottom line is he should still be the Republican chair of the House Caucas on Missing and Exploited Children today."

Former Rep. Jerry goes on to explain "It goes beyond the obvious immediate purely heterosexual benefits, in fact the ambitious wide eyed young males are one of the main reason so many baby boomer republican politicians are so computer proficient, these young republicans and prostitutes have really been helping the Grand Old Party stay ahead of the curve for quite awhile,these anonymous men and boys have been the cause of so much release for our male politicians loads and loads have literally been released and don't get me wrong many a respected republicans have gotten on there knees to thank these patriots, sometimes unprovoked, we are an equal opportunity party."

The ACLU however is not letting state and federal officials off the hook as easily.

With the attack on private communications between elected reps and young interns resulting in more monitoring of these policy makers, forcing them back out to the seedy hotels, airports and truck stops, for their homosexual trysts, trysts that have been an important part of elected conservatives day to day diplomacy for years and is needed to help remind these straight men why they push so hard for the values vote.

As Former Republican Rep Jerry puts it "There's is simply not enough male prostitutes and young gay republicans to satisfy the social conservatives urges let alone keep them in power."

The ACLU clamors for the level of public official oversight that went on during the Reagan and George H. Bush presidencies, "they (sic) never would of forced their party members out of their cushy state and federal offices to troll for male genitalia, they would of never flinched in giving these diplomatic men of the Republican guard the necessary personal contact info and privacy rights for any heterosexually charged contact with gay conservative teens and male prostitutes everywhere. These influential men and these ambitious naive young teens and drug addict prostitutes roaming the streets of America need to be granted the common decency and respect any one also would want in these situations."

However former Rep. and current member of various Neo-con think tanks Jerry didn't seem too worried. "Look the anonymous gay sex codes of rest stops were created in the bible belt and are time tested and finely honed, the GOP and various clergy men and family values lobbyist will learn to adapt."

Yet with the liberals pushing for complete acceptance of homosexuals and their rights to marriage, combined with the continued stings on lewd homosexual behavior could impede those same Social conservatives in their passionate push for anti-gay legislation in their fight on homosexuality. It may also force their clearly controllable heterosexually urges for men and boys back to the underground deep south bathrooms and the closets of the extreme right in the ever changing landscape of social conservatism.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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